Do you agree or disagree?: "Science is better than Religion".

The pie charts compare the situation
forboth
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for both
genders' work in the United Kingdom which include both full-time
jobs
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and part
andpart-time
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and part-time
jobs
during the time between 1998 and 2012. It is noticeable that the proportion of
menwho
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men who
worked as full-time workers
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
the biggest part and men
worked
Correct pronoun usage
who worked
show examples
in part-
timejob
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time job
time jobs
accounted for the smallest area. For women, both full-time and part-
timeaccounted
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time accounted
for around
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
piece of the whole pie chart. In 1988, full-time male workers
accountedfor
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accounted for
51
percent
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per cent
show examples
which was 12.539 people while its proportion reduced by
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the percentage
thepercentage
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the percentage
of 47 after 24 years later.
In contrast
, female
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
workershad
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workers had
a considerable rise from 19
percent
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per cent
show examples
to 26
percent
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per cent
show examples
.
Although
the area
offull
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of full
full
-time among men had a decreasing trend,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the total number had
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increased to
increased
increasedto
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increased to
13,794. Part-time
jobs
for both men and women,there are very slight changes in these two parts.
First
, there were more
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men started
started
menstarted
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men started
to work in part-time
jobs
in 2012 which accounted for 7
percentcomparing
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percent comparing
to 24 years ago which was just 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
survey
Correct article usage
the survey
show examples
total numbers.  
Then
, fewer females worked as part-
timeemployees
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time employees
in 2012 which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined from22
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
to 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The
Correct your spelling
amount of
amountof
Correct your spelling
amount of
employment had a considerable increase during 24 years.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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