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Writing Samples
Band 4

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the numbers of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #numbers #people #situation
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As a saying goes, “Young men fight to
death
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the death
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 for victory, but old men make dialogue for it,” each individual man is extraordinary in his own way regardless of age, gender or any other hindrance that society presumes
,
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apply
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 if he or she contributes to the benefits of the
country
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 and the world. If so, when there are a relatively larger number of young adults than older
people
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 in some countries, they have their advantages and disadvantages in their own ways for the sake of society and the world. Possessing the abundance of young adults in a
country
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,
it
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apply
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can foster the
country
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’s GDP and
the
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apply
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human resources as the youth age has the energy and time. If the
country
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 could apply those youths
into
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to
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 the course of educating and becoming a
better developed
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better-developed
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country
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, it would be more useful than having too many older
people
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 because in a
country
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, if there are more older
people
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 than young adults, they are more likely to spend the
country
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’s productions without producing so that the
country
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’s GDP will not progress. So, it’s important not only to preserve the number of young
people
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 who exceed the older ones
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 to use them for a better cause.
However
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, having the older ones in a family means a person who has
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life long
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lifelong
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 experience which can’t be bought by money and is exquisite in
life
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. So, the African saying goes
to
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apply
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“If an old man dies, the whole library is buried with him.” It’s indeed true that older
people
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 can
also
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 attribute to other
people
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 in some ways while younger ones are using their energies.
Moreover
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, since the older
people
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 had contributed to their societies their whole
life
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, if it’s assumed that having many older
people
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 is a disadvantage, it shouldn’t be to deprive them of the benefits that the old
people
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 should consume in their old
life
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.
Therefore
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,
although
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 the older
people
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 still can contribute to the
country
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, their output will not match the youngsters' when it comes to the
country
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's development which needs the great amount of energy and workforce that younger
people
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 can mainly produce.
Submitted by 2020khinetunnaing on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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