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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life.sdabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbggggvvv Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #job #money #salary #life #sdabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbggggvvv
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There is a debate on what is more important between having a desirable job and getting a high-paid one.
Whileit
Correct your spelling
While it
 is believed that money is vital in society because it could lead to better
life
Use synonyms
 quality and bring a lot more
life
Use synonyms
 convenience. I personally agree with the idea of having a pleasant job which I will discuss later. 
To begin
Linking Words
 with, having worked in a career you have passion
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 gives you the meaning of
life
Use synonyms
. It is something that makes you want to wake up every day and enjoy doing it to the fullest.
For instance
Linking Words
, my sister chose to become a primary school teacher despite
the
Change the word
her
show examples
 income. She told me that she is happy every day having spent time with her students.
Moreover
Linking Words
, she has the drive to work to her full potential without feeling drained or exhausted.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I feel that to be able to do the things that give you joy is vital to your
life
Use synonyms
. Even working to get a high salary gives many benefits including
Correct your spelling
access
acccess
Correct your spelling
access
 to many new opportunities
such
Linking Words
 as meeting with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 high status,
being
Correct word choice
and being
show examples
 able to buy a lot more luxurious things. It might have put people in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 situation that allows them to live more convenient.
For example
Linking Words
, they could buy their own cars
instead
Linking Words
 of using public transportation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they could buy their own accommodations without having to rent ones.
However
Linking Words
, money can't always give people happiness. It might be a
Correct your spelling
pleasant
plesant
Correct your spelling
pleasant
 feeling to possess something but it doesn't bring any value to
life
Use synonyms
. Personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that being alive, we all need to find our answers
why
Change preposition
to why
show examples
 we exist and what can we do to make ourselves and others happy. To summarize, even
money
Correct word choice
though money
show examples
 earned by work could make
life
Use synonyms
 more convenient, it cannot compare
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 happiness of doing the work you enjoy.
Submitted by poonpunchy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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