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Band 4.5

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a countries success, while others think that other factors can be used to measure a countries success. What are these Factors? Which do you think are most important?

#people #progress #measure #countries #success #factors
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A section of society is of the opinion that the growth of the economy is the sole medium to calculate the success of a nation
whereas
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 others opine that other elements are vital .The elements are food security and health care which ensure its success of it.
However
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,I believe the former is the most significant of them.
This
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 essay will explain in detail the factors
as well as
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 the most vital to calculate successful of a nation in the subsequent paragraphs with examples .
To begin
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 with,there are several reasons to calculate a nation's progress.
Firstly
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,if citizens are able to get enough agricultural
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
show examples
 to eat and able to export some to others.It ensures that they are very successful because it creates employment for their members.
Moreover
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,they can get revenue by exporting the
produces
Replace the word
products
show examples
 to others to gain money in order to develop their nations.
Secondly
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,offering free health ensure that a country is successful because inhabitants can access medical care without paying money.For example ,in developed nations , the government pays for the care of its members .
Although
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 developed countries have money to access free well-being,developing nations are poor to perform
such
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 initiatives.
Therefore
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 ,having access to food and well-being are the two reasons that make an area successful.
Furthermore
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,the most crucial way to measure the growth of a country is food because the citizens need foodstuff to survive.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should make sure individuals eat well so that they will be healthy.
In addition
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,in terms of war ,people can rely on the products they produce because importation will be banned.For instance ,the war between Russia and Ukraine has made the people difficult to import from other places. In conclusion,diet security and the health of the citizens are the two factors of
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 a country successful.Meanwhile,
enough
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
 agriculture
produces
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is the most significant element from my perspective.
Submitted by yahayasonde2 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a coherent structure, leading to confusion and lack of clarity in the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task but lacks a clear and comprehensive development of ideas. It needs to provide more specific examples and a more detailed explanation.
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