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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem.

#animals #verge #extinction #list
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In
contemporary
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the contemporary
a contemporary
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 day ,a highly controversial issue whether relating to the phenomenon of wild
animals
Use synonyms
 extinctions ,
therefore
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 some people believe that there are many reasons behind that .In
this
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 essay
Im
Correct your spelling
I'm
 going to examine the phenomenon from both viewpoints and I will support my ideas with real_relavant examples.
To begin
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 with,
recent
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in recent
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 days many
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environmental
environmential
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environmental
 factors affect
on
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apply
show examples
the universal which lead to
Correct article usage
the extinctions
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extinctions
Fix the agreement mistake
extinction
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 of numerous wild
animals
Use synonyms
 .The critical reason behind
that is
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 as
result
Correct article usage
a result
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 of climate
changes
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change
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 some
animals
Use synonyms
 have faced
difcultiy
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difficulty
to
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in
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 leave peacefully .
For
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example
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,example
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 the bands bear became the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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animal that was
threating
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threatening
 to extinction because the
nature
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natural
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 factors that prevent them to stay
a
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alive
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live
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life
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 for
long
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a long
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 time.
Furthermore
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, the
second
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 factor is that the appearance of global warming
lead
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leads
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 to
expose
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exposing
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 some
animals
Use synonyms
 to die as
result
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a result
show examples
 of the over increasing
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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heating .
In
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addition
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,addition
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 the most reason
that is
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 taken into consideration is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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overpopulation may regard the major reason to spread the live places in which
animals
Use synonyms
 could not live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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last
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 hostels which is
had
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tohad
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build
Wrong verb form
built
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 near
to
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apply
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the forest became
belong
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belonged
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 to
human
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a human
the human
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being
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beings
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.
In
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On
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 the other hand, despite the existence of the extinction and
it
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its
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affect
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effect
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 on the
environments
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environment
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 it still some solutions that may
taken
Change the verb form
take
be taken
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 measure to hinder the dieng of
animals
Use synonyms
 ,
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however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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 the governments must apply a plethora of positive roles that encourage people to maintain the wild
animals
Use synonyms
 by
provide
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providing
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 special guard placed to protect them from killing .
Also
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 ,
government
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the government
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 must send awareness massage to prove the
important
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importance
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 of wild
animals
Use synonyms
 in
in
Remove the redundancy
apply
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the
environments
Fix the agreement mistake
environment
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.
Agood
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A good
 illustration here
that is
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last
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 studies which conducted in different area obvious that the numerous of
warness
Correct your spelling
awareness
wariness
 massage have decreased the numbers of animal extinctions. To conclude , in modern days the phenomenon of
Use synonyms
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 extension became more spread
in
Change preposition
apply
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which causes a lot of significant problems that refer to many reasons which they have mentioned
previous
Replace the word
previously
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 and some solutions are taken by
government
Add an article
the government
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 to prevent the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 of problem.
Submitted by laila.alketani on

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