Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not enough physical exercise. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures are there to this problem?
It is said by plenty of doctors that people around the world do not spend enough time exercising their bodies nowadays. The reasons for
this
trend and the solutions, which I will mention in the following passages, can be considered from various perspectives.
To begin
, one of the causes why citizens do not move their bodies aggressively is that most of them are becoming busier than they used to be. In other words
, the trend that companies are asking their employees to develop their businesses in the short run leads to making workers work late while
a majority of them are required to take care of their children as well. In addition
, Covid 19
, which is still spreading throughout the world, forced the human race to refrain from going outside. Replace the word
COVID-19
This
crisis is making it more difficult to exercise physically because the most common way to keep your body sharp is jogging or running which needs wide space.
However
, every problem comes with a solution, which is similar in this
case. This
grim problem can be resolved with various initiatives. First,
prompting enterprises to decrease the number of workdays in a week is one of the important measures. By taking such
actions, individuals would be able to take time for exercise even if the adults have to spend time on weekends for other things for instance
relaxing themselves
or playing with their children. The next solution is to encourage the progression of the latest technologies Correct pronoun usage
apply
to improve
so that citizens can have physical training inside their houses without any concerns. Verb problem
apply
For example
, the Nintendo switch
, which is a well-known gaming device, can now be utilised for playing sports virtually. Capitalize word
Switch
Therefore
, other devices which are easy to use for elderly persons are expected in the future.
To conclude
, I mainly believe that the main reasons why people are not moving their bodies enough are the intensity of work and Corona Virus
. Replace the word
the coronavirus
However
, I am also
convinced that this
problem can be solved by increasing the number of weekends and the utilization of electronic devices which can be used inside.Submitted by akio24jeff54 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more clearly connected to the main topic. The essay shows good logical structure overall but needs more effective transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task response
The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both the causes and solutions to the lack of physical exercise. The ideas are generally clear and relevant, but further development and specific examples would strengthen the response.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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