IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

in many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend

#countries #people #cities #live #units #groups #trend
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Nowadays, it is impossible to not
experiencing
Wrong verb form
experience
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 any changes in both traditions and cultures. One and the most conspicuous of them is the size of modern
families
 which has changed drastically. In my point of across, it has not only
downside
Correct article usage
a downside
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 but
also
upside
Correct article usage
an upside
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 which will be scrutinized in
this
 essay,
accordingly
.
Firstly
, a few centuries ago people used to have extended
families
 and it truly helped them in that
time
 in terms of work
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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.
Nevertheless
, the requirements of
modern
Add an article
the modern
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 world are now different
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
compared
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compered
Correct your spelling
compared
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 to
past
Correct article usage
the past
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. To clarify, due to advances in technology, a vast
major
Correct quantifier usage
number of major
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 are digital and do need any human force.
Additionally
,
currently
Add a comma
,currently
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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life has become extremely busy and demandable which attributes
having
Change preposition
to having
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 not sufficient spare
time
 to look after their babies meticulously. Owing to that,
small
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a small
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 family is an auspicious choice for each of us.
Furthermore
, in lieu of not being able to treat each child equally which is really anomalous, it would be much better to have one and take care of him or her relatively well. By the means of that, the bond of members at one home will be much stronger than in large
families
On the other hand
,
besides
 its mentioned con it may
also
 have a mighty pro, respectively.
For example
, if there are
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of members in
families
, they may have a lot of fun with each other.
Moreover
, in
future
Add a comma
,future
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 as parents will be older and lose some physical abilities, in that
time
 they will have a great chance to get
help
Add an article
the help
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of
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from
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 their all children every
time
.
Thus
, there is no problem for them in terms of being alone when they are
aged
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age
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. To sum up, after taking into consideration all possible aspects which can affect our notion
on
Change preposition
of
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this
 statement, it is clear that having less
time
 for each child may strongly enervate the link between them.
Nonetheless
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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for
this
, older people might have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 opportunities to be cared
by
Change preposition
for by
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 their children.
Submitted by l.rafik on

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