With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be oppened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

#demand #oil #gas #areas #world #access #resources

Due to

the higher demands of fossil fuels, a certain segment of individuals

argues

Correct subject-verb agreement

argue

show examples

that we must explore the untouched destinations of the earth in search of energy sources. Though there is a number of supporters of

this

affirmation, I stand against

this

and the following paragraphs of

this

essay will analyze two factors which contribute to my opinion.

To begin

with, exploring virgin territories may outcome to double the environmental pollution.

As a result

of the complex mechanisms that we use to extract oil from the fossils, we have already created a number of problems in nature.

For example

, a recent documentary programme which was telecasted on the Discovery Channel revealed

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an American oil pump resulting in to increase in the temperature in the sea waters, and now it has an effect melting down the glaciers at the North

pole

Capitalize word

Pole

show examples

Hence

, if we use the existing technologies to explore untouched destinations, that will definitely outcome in polluting nature.

Secondly

, these invasions will destroy the unidentified creatures who live in these areas.

For instance

, there was a report in the international media, about a hydropower plant, in Mexico that resulted in the destruction of a number of indigenous creatures who lived around that area. If it can happen in Mexico, there is no doubt that it will not happen in the alien soils.

Therefore

, we must not consider exploring these grounds for

sake

Correct article usage

the sake

show examples

of our future generations.

To conclude

, I reiterate that we must not destroy unexplored areas in

searching

Replace the word

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

fuel as it will result

Change preposition

show examples

double the environmental pollution and the extinction of unknown animals.

Instead

of doing these, we must put our efforts

to find

Change preposition

into finding

show examples

more alternative eco-friendly energy sources to protect our mother nature.

Submitted by sprabasara on Tue Aug 23 2022

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task response

Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position and previews the main points you will discuss in the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Use cohesive devices such as transition words and linking phrases to improve the flow and organization of your ideas. Also, make sure that your conclusion summarizes the main points and restates your position.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

global demand
finite resources
energy consumption
exploiting
untouched ecosystems
carbon emissions
climate change
renewable energy
sustainable energy solutions
geopolitical consequences
territorial disputes
dependency

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With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be oppened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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