IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share their responsibilities of household chores.Do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Males and females working in regular occupations should share home chore duties.I agree with the view because it helps save time and workload.The essay will explain in detail the reasons for my stance
as well as
Linking Words
 examples in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,the primary reason for agreeing to the division of home duties is the saving of time.If husbands help their wives with house chores
such
Linking Words
 as bathing children,sweeping ,washing utensils and cooking.The wives will be able to finish their home activities promptly which will help them to get to their workplaces fast.,
Also
Linking Words
 they get more minutes to do other activities like reading and watching movies in order to relax.
For instance
Linking Words
 ,since my father started preparing breakfast for us in the house,my mother has been punctual at work.
Hence
Linking Words
,sharing chores helps employees to get to the workplace on time.
Secondly
Linking Words
,another reason for concording with
this
Linking Words
 view is to reduce workload.The majority of ladies do a lot of work in their homes like cleaning ,sweeping ,washing clothes and cooking.If their husbands choose to do two house chores
then
Linking Words
 the workload will be reduced.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,it helps reduce stress.Excessive responsibilities lead to mental tiredness which leads to a lot of health conditions.
For example
Linking Words
,stress is a factor in most diseases like hypertension and depression.
Although
Linking Words
 males will suffer ,females will be healthier.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
division
Correct article usage
the division
show examples
 of labour helps prevent diseases related to stress. In conclusion,the essay argued that
division
Correct article usage
the division
show examples
 of labour is significant.The reduction in excess duties and time-saving are the two reasons I opine that men and women should share their responsibilities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay adequately addresses the topic and provides a clear position, but the supporting points need to be developed more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph is well-organized and has a clear topic sentence.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: