IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share their responsibilities of household chores.Do you agree or disagree

#men #women #jobs #responsibilities #household #chores
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Males and females working in regular occupations should share home chore duties.I agree with the view because it helps save time and workload.The essay will explain in detail the reasons for my stance
as well as
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 examples in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
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 with,the primary reason for agreeing to the division of home duties is the saving of time.If husbands help their wives with house chores
such
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 as bathing children,sweeping ,washing utensils and cooking.The wives will be able to finish their home activities promptly which will help them to get to their workplaces fast.,
Also
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 they get more minutes to do other activities like reading and watching movies in order to relax.
For instance
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 ,since my father started preparing breakfast for us in the house,my mother has been punctual at work.
Hence
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,sharing chores helps employees to get to the workplace on time.
Secondly
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,another reason for concording with
this
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 view is to reduce workload.The majority of ladies do a lot of work in their homes like cleaning ,sweeping ,washing clothes and cooking.If their husbands choose to do two house chores
then
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 the workload will be reduced.
In addition
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 ,it helps reduce stress.Excessive responsibilities lead to mental tiredness which leads to a lot of health conditions.
For example
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,stress is a factor in most diseases like hypertension and depression.
Although
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 males will suffer ,females will be healthier.
Therefore
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,
division
Correct article usage
the division
show examples
 of labour helps prevent diseases related to stress. In conclusion,the essay argued that
division
Correct article usage
the division
show examples
 of labour is significant.The reduction in excess duties and time-saving are the two reasons I opine that men and women should share their responsibilities.
Submitted by yahayasonde2 on

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task response
Your essay adequately addresses the topic and provides a clear position, but the supporting points need to be developed more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph is well-organized and has a clear topic sentence.
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