IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Hunger is still a solid concern especially in poor countries ,notwithstanding, all the actions made by different groups. There are some potential reasons and certain proposed ways out regarding
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon which I will discuss now.
Firstly
Linking Words
, consumerism is increasing
in particular
Linking Words
 in developed countries due to the food industry's intention to profit more. Related advertisements have contributed to obesity and heart disease among welfare groups while some are starving to death all around the globe. The excessive consumption of food causes not only health problems or gaining weight, but a substantial amount of rubbish left in the large areas of land which can lead to environmental issues as well.
Finally
Linking Words
, the food industry's executives stimulate outrageous cravings among vulnerable age groups
such
Linking Words
 as children and adolescents in order to ensure their profit. They neglect the potential repercussions of taking too many synthetic additives into agricultural products. Their only intention is to make money despite the human being's conditions. While there is no magic bullet as a way out of
this
Linking Words
 situation, some proposed measures can be taken. The
first
Linking Words
 step is to increase the cost of products being wasted in the households in order to inhibit the public from buying more than their usage. Making documentaries,
in addition
Linking Words
, can raise individuals' awareness about the after-effects of the culture of consumption. These TV shows might encourage them to decide ethically and think deeper about their purchases and unused products. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 debate needs to be continued t achieve the best approach and coordinated actions from individuals, scientists and governments are necessary to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Submitted by z.teymouri92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: