IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#people #parents #time #work #children #support
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In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 economic world, we cannot simply survive with one person's income.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of the
parents
Use synonyms
 have to go somewhere and earn some money for
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 needs of the
daytoday
Correct your spelling
day today
 life. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would agree that
parents
Use synonyms
engaging
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
 more
time
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
 social consequences for their
children
Use synonyms
. There are many social
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
occurs
Correct pronoun usage
that occurs
show examples
 due to the
parents
Use synonyms
 not spending much
time
Use synonyms
 with their
children
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
parents
Use synonyms
 do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
track
Fix the infinitive
to track
show examples
 their
Correct your spelling
academic
acadamic
Correct your spelling
academic
 performance, Because of the unavoided
Correct your spelling
commitment
committment
Correct your spelling
commitment
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 always need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
help from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 to
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
difficult
Add an article
the difficult
a difficult
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 in their studies. Sometimes they
starting
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
 to hide the low marks from their
parents
Use synonyms
 to not let them know
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
by signing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 signature
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
parents
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the exam report cards. Mainly,
integrity
Add an article
the integrity
show examples
 of the young people between the
parents
Use synonyms
 getting broken from
this
Linking Words
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 do not have the
time
Use synonyms
 to educate their
children
Use synonyms
 to treat others.
For example
Linking Words
 most of the
time
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in the home alone and if someone
coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the house, they should know how to treat relatives.
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of basic disciplines should
taught
Change the verb form
be taught
show examples
 by the
parents
Use synonyms
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, Young people getting
Change the form of the verb
distracted
show examples
distract
Change the verb form
distracted
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phones,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
,
television
Correct word choice
and television
show examples
 getting higher, Because there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 violent
content
Change to a plural noun
contents
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
. It may cause them
think
Add the particle
to think
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
show examples
. To summarize
this
Linking Words
 topic, As
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mentioned we cannot avoid the job circumstances and staying at the home all the
time
Use synonyms
 with the
children
Use synonyms
, but
parents
Use synonyms
 should always make
time
Use synonyms
 to create bonds, to know about their
Correct your spelling
interests
intrests
Correct your spelling
interests
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the basic needs of the
children
Use synonyms
.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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