Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer

In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
economic world, we cannot simply survive with one person's income.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
of the
parents
have to go somewhere and earn some money for
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
needs of the
daytoday
Correct your spelling
day today
life. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would agree that
parents
engaging
Wrong verb form
engage
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more
time
in
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
social consequences for their
children
. There are many social
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
occurs
Correct pronoun usage
that occurs
show examples
due to the
parents
not spending much
time
with their
children
.
First
of all,
parents
do not have enough
time
track
Fix the infinitive
to track
show examples
their
Correct your spelling
academic
acadamic
Correct your spelling
academic
performance, Because of the unavoided
Correct your spelling
commitment
committment
Correct your spelling
commitment
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
children
always need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
help from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
parents
to
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
difficult
Add an article
the difficult
a difficult
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
in their studies. Sometimes they
starting
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
to hide the low marks from their
parents
to not let them know
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
by signing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
signature
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
parents
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the exam report cards. Mainly,
integrity
Add an article
the integrity
show examples
of the young people between the
parents
getting broken from
this
.
Secondly
,
parents
do not have the
time
to educate their
children
to treat others.
For example
most of the
time
children
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
in the home alone and if someone
coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the house, they should know how to treat relatives.
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of basic disciplines should
taught
Change the verb form
be taught
show examples
by the
parents
.
Thirdly
, Young people getting
Change the form of the verb
distracted
show examples
distract
Change the verb form
distracted
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phones,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
,
television
Correct word choice
and television
show examples
getting higher, Because there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
violent
content
Change to a plural noun
contents
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
. It may cause them
think
Add the particle
to think
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
show examples
. To summarize
this
topic, As
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
mentioned we cannot avoid the job circumstances and staying at the home all the
time
with the
children
, but
parents
should always make
time
to create bonds, to know about their
Correct your spelling
interests
intrests
Correct your spelling
interests
and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
the basic needs of the
children
.
Submitted by TAMIZH012 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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