Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
especially children and teenagers can get sick easily because of many a range of factors. Having many opinions on
this
Linking Words
problem, some
people
Use synonyms
say that if want to improve their
health
Use synonyms
, they should usually go to sports facilities.
Besides
Linking Words
that, some
people
Use synonyms
think have more than one reason was affected human
health
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
of all, more and more sports facilities were built. It is accidental made to encourage everyone to get in the habit of
exercise
Use synonyms
and help
people
Use synonyms
avoid illnesses.
However
Linking Words
, in the reality, they must not be done
exercise
Use synonyms
regularly.
However
Linking Words
, we never force
people
Use synonyms
to
exercise
Use synonyms
every day
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and is not the best way to improve public
health
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, the government should provide resident insurance that helps
people
Use synonyms
not need to pay fees. They can be cured when they have no money to pay fees. Plus, gas from motorbikes and cars make air pollution.
Therefore
Linking Words
the respiratory system was affected, and life expectancy will be decreased. Now, all countries are trying to decrease environmental pollution, public
health
Use synonyms
can be ensured. And having many ways to improve human
health
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as having healthy eating habits, eating food that has vitamins, and taking part in
health
Use synonyms
protection programs will prepare them for
potentially
Add an article
a potentially
show examples
fatal
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
. In short, our
health
Use synonyms
will be adversely affected by our habits, and sports facilities have not too big of an impact on their life. So, the government should have advised
Add an article
the resident
show examples
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
to take care of themself and
exercise
Use synonyms
regularly to improve their
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: