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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #children #diet #school #parents
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Many people believe that schools play a vital role in educating
children
Use synonyms
 about a healthy
diet
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. Others argue that
parents
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 should be responsible for teaching
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 what good food is. In my opinion, I think that schools and
parents
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 are an equal role in guiding
children
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 about a healthy
diet
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. The essay will analyse both sides of
this
Linking Words
 view to clarify the
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
. On the one hand, many people believe in school's role in teaching
children
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 a healthy
diet
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
children
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 spend much time in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 and teachers teach them about the benefits of a healthy body by guiding the food that
children
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 consume in each meal.
In addition
Linking Words
,
children
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 can easily absorb what they learn and apply them in life as
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 the knowledge in their lunches.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
parents
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also
Linking Words
 contribute to
form
Wrong verb form
forming
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 a good
habit
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habits
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 in
children
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's eating.
For instance
Linking Words
,
children
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 are easily reflected by how their
parents
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 eat
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 can copy it and eat like their
parents
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. It can be seen that
parents
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 usually prepare meals for
children
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 so they will know which food is suitable for their
children
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 or not.
In addition
Linking Words
,
parents
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 can guide
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 to eat
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
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instead
Linking Words
 of eating junk foods. In conclusion,
parents
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 should be attention
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
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 meals and learn more knowledge from
Add an article
the book
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book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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to
Change preposition
about
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 having a healthy
diet
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 beside that educated methods from teachers in school
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
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importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
then
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
 can apply the knowledge from school in each meal at home.
Submitted by thaothanh1323 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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