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Writing Samples
Band 5

Air transport is increasingly use to exported fruits and vegetables to countries where they can not be grown or out of seasons . What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

It is said that exporting
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 to other states where they are difficult to farm or are not available
due to
Linking Words
 weather changes has increased recently.
This
Linking Words
 has several advantages in terms of the economy of the exporting
country
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 and to
imported
Correct article usage
the imported
show examples
country
Use synonyms
, people can enjoy
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 throughout the year. One of the prime advantages is the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 benefits that bring to the
country
Use synonyms
 which sends
fruits
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 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 to other
countries
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 brings foreign currency to the state,
thus
Linking Words
 leading to the development of the
country
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is reported that China earned about 10% of
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 total income in 2020 by exporting
apples
Use synonyms
. Another main plus point is, that people, can enjoy a variety of
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
, throughout the year without depending on the weather or even not growing those foods in their region,
as a result
Linking Words
 of
air
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 transportation. To exemplify, Sri Lankans can eat
apples
Use synonyms
 throughout the year,
although
Linking Words
apples
Use synonyms
 are not grown in Sri Lanka.
However
Linking Words
, there are some detriments
such
Linking Words
 as environmental problems, has increased
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
 transportation of these foods. To be more specific,
air
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 pollution by emitting greenhouse gases by planes has increased and
this
Linking Words
 has a major impact on
Ozon
Correct your spelling
Ozone
show examples
 layer depletion. Another drawback is the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 crisis in the food importing
countries
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 foreign currency wastage on unnecessary import of these foods.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Sri Lanka, the popularity of
apples
Use synonyms
 went up and apple trading leads to foreign currency wastage
as well as
Linking Words
 is a reason for the economic crisis today. In conclusion, there is a trend of
air
Use synonyms
 transporting
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 to other
countries
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
this
Linking Words
 is an
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 strength for exporting
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 and people can enjoy that food any time in other
countries
Use synonyms
. On the flip side,
this
Linking Words
 can cause some environmental problems and economic problems for importing
countries
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and make sure topics flow logically from one another. For example, the environmental issues could be connected more clearly to the advantages discussed earlier.
grammar
Avoid minor grammatical errors, such as misplaced commas and articles, to improve clarity and presentation. For instance, ‘has increased’ should be ‘have increased.’
task achievement
Expand on the examples provided to give a deeper understanding of the issues discussed. This could involve detailing more specific cases or statistics related to the import/export markets.
task achievement
You clearly articulated both the advantages and disadvantages of air transport for fruits and vegetables, which fully addressed the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction set a clear context for your argument, while your conclusion successfully summarized the main points of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global market access
  • consumer choice
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • food preservation
  • carbon emissions
  • environmental concerns
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • cost implications
  • consumer costs
  • dependency on imports
  • supply chain disruptions
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