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Writing Samples
Band 5

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes argued that
people
Use synonyms
 who dwell in a new
country
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 should follow the
customs
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 and
traditions
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 in
this
Linking Words
country
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. I completely with
this
Linking Words
 opinion. There are
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
several reasons why
people
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 should follow the
customs
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 and
traditions
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 when migrating to a new
country
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when
people
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 follow it, they can understand and explore the historical origins
Correct pronoun usage
that were
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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passed down by their forefathers, cultural beauty,
unique
Correct word choice
and unique
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customs
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 from which to understand more deeply about the
people
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 here .
Secondly
Linking Words
, understand the
people
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 here you will be able to make new friends, make new relationships,
help
Correct word choice
and help
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you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
become integrated into society.
Finally
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
following and understanding the
customs
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 and
traditions
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 of the
country
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 can help them to actively participate in community activities.
In
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At
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 many festivals,
people
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 can participate freely and feel as harmonious as
their
Change preposition
in their
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 own
country
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 . Attending festivals helps them accumulate a lot of cultural knowledge to enrich their knowledge.
On the other hand
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, immigrants will meet a lot of difficulties when not following the
customs
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 and
traditions
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 in a new
country
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. In doing business, it is always necessary for foreign companies to spend some time researching and learning about the local nature and work to be done before starting
business
Add an article
a business
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 in any other
country
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. If you don't follow the
customs
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 and
traditions
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, it will be difficult for you to
business
Add a missing verb
do business
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, if immigrants didn’t behave in accordance with the local norms, they wouldn’t receive
respects
Fix the agreement mistake
respect
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 from local
people
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. They do not follow the laws of the
country
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,
against
Add a missing verb
are against
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 the law and engage in anti-traditional
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if you immigrate to the UK and continue to do the same things as in
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
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country
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as playing loud music in the house, disturbing the families, the British will call the police and possibly get into a fight with him . In conclusion,
Use synonyms
customs
Correct article usage
the customs
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 and
traditions
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 of a
country
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
help immigrants adapt to life , improve
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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new knowledge and
making
Wrong verb form
make
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new relationships.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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