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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The amount of time that
children
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 spend on smartphones has increased two times in the
last
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 10 years.
This
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 case has a negative effect on
children
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. The reasons for
this
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 will be discussed in the essay.
To begin
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 with, why the usage of smartphones has increased
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 Comparing ten years ago and now, the interest of
children
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 in outdoor activities go down, and the reason for
this
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 is the opportunities that
phones
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 give to them. Nowadays, if two friends want to play together, they are playing online
instead
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 of going outside.
For instance
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, they can play one of the popular shooter games PUBG.
Furthermore
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, the other reason for the increasing interest of
children
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 in these gadgets is their parents. To make it clear, parents give
phones
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 to their
kids
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 to make them calm at dinners.
This
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 trend has a negative effect not only on
children
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's education but
also
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 on their health. Using the phone for hours will damage
kids
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' brain functionality. To clarify, radiation that comes from
phones
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 detriment their brain. What is more, it
also
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 harmful to their eyes. The light that comes from smartphones is damaging to eyesight. Due to
this
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 fact, the percentage of
kids
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 who are wearing optic glasses has doubled.
Furthermore
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, because of the
phones
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, a big amount of
kids
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 do not want to educate themselves, because they find spending time on telephones more interesting than education. In conclusion, due to all these factors, using a phone for a long time is harmful to
children
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, and parents should not give them
phones
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.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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