IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country
There are different views on how many
people
 think that foreigners should follow local
customs
 and traditions when they come to reside in a new
country
. From my point of view, I believe that
people
 should adapt to local
customs
 and traditions in a new
country
.
On the other hand
, there are many reasons why
people
 don't need to learn about the
customs
 of other
countries
 and regions. we should preserve our character and
customs
 from the original
country
.
This
 is strongly encouraged as a way to preserve and promote the culture of their
country
.
Therefore
, the relationship between
countries
 is enhanced and the connection between
people
 and the community is more and more sustainable.
On the other hand
, I believe that following the culture in new
countries
 can offer them chances to learn valuable skills. They will be more welcomed by the local
people
 and have a closer connection to easily integrate into the community. At the same time, it helps
people
 avoid breaking the laws of these
countries
.
For example
, in some parts of the world, one can buy heavy weapons
such
 as guns and grenades. But in Vietnam, these guns and grenades are considered illegal. In conclusion, my opinion is that it is essential for new residents to follow the local
customs
 and traditions in a new
country
.
Submitted by bttha.qn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: