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Writing Samples
Band 5

Influence of human being on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. what are the causes and solutions?

#influence #world #ecosystem #extinction #species #loss #biodiversity
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In today's
world
Add a comma
,world
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 the nature of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 has changed to become more focused on consumption. Due to
this
Linking Words
ever increasing
Add a hyphen
ever-increasing
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demand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
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 things we are knowingly or unknowingly causing harm to mother nature. The two main causes for
this
Linking Words
 are Increasing
population
Use synonyms
 and
exponential
Correct article usage
an exponential
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rise
Use synonyms
 in mobile
usage
Use synonyms
. I will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 causes and their solutions below. Due to the
rise
Use synonyms
 in
population
Use synonyms
, people need houses to live in. To meet
this
Linking Words
 increasing
demand
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 many builders are cutting down forests to build homes. Due to
this
Linking Words
 rising
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population
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,population
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 the
demand
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 for goods is increasing and
government
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the government
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 is meeting
this
Linking Words
demand
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 by modernising
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
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 system by building new roads, many of which are built by
destroting
Correct your spelling
destroying
 the mountains. The
second
Linking Words
 cause is
Use synonyms
rise
Add an article
a rise
the rise
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 in
Use synonyms
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of mobile phones.
This
Linking Words
 increases the
demand
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 for connectivity which leads to
building
Correct article usage
the building
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large
Change preposition
of large
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 connectivity towers. The frequency of these towers is intercepted by birds
especially
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,especially
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 sparrows and it causes them various diseases which
then
Linking Words
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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 to their death. In the
past
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,past
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 we were able to see sparrows
in
Change preposition
on
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 our balcony, but nowadays we can hardly notice one sparrow. The solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
population
Use synonyms
rise
Use synonyms
 can be to control the
population
Use synonyms
rise
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
poppulation
Correct your spelling
population
 control will benefit us in the coming years. Regarding the current explosion of
population
Use synonyms
, we can certainly increase the height of towers to meet the
demand
Use synonyms
 and we can carefully select a location to build
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 where there is minimal harm to nature. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile
usage
Use synonyms
, we can decrease our
usage
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 wherever possible. In
conclusion
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,conclusion
show examples
 I would like to say that we as humans should keep a check
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our demands so that we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 burden
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural resources.
Submitted by mimalhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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