It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people have valued the role of local
history
over that of world
history
and they suppose nowadays, education should only focus on the history
of a country rather than the history
of the world
. From my perspective, I disagree with those opinions as both of them are equally essential for young learners.
Studying the history
of their locality SHOULD BE for sure an indispensable part of the school's curriculum.THIS
COULD BE EXPLAINED BY THE FACT THAT I believe having thorough insights into what happened in the past will instill
a sense of PRIDE AND patriotism IN A CHILD . Change the spelling
instil
For example
, children of primary and secondary schools in my city are taught about how their ancestors and former soldiers had sacrificed their lives against lives to against outside intruders and reclaimed sovereignty. HAVING LEARNED THATTherefore
, those young children would broaden their horizons about the country, have an appreciation for national heritages and traditions and be willing to contribute and protect the nation when needed.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
On the other hand
, learning about world
history
shares equal importance just
as local one. As the Rephrase
apply
world
has become more open, today’s global citizens should learn more about other countries and regions to assimilate into the global community. Acquiring knowledge about the world
’s past events equips students with a more well-rounded perspective of life. For example
, learning about the World
War or Feminism
Replace the word
feminist
protest
against women’s abuse and discrimination would help those learners enhance their understanding Correct subject-verb agreement
protests
about
various aspects of the Change preposition
of
world
. Furthermore
, I think being taught about the
other countries’ historical backgrounds would benefit young learners Correct article usage
apply
about
their future Change preposition
in
career
. Students who accumulate knowledge of Fix the agreement mistake
careers
this
particular field would have opportunities to work for the
foreign enterprises.
In conclusion, I believe the significance of domestic and international can be brought into comparison to see which one is more necessary because they have distinctively equal meanings to children.Correct article usage
apply
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task response
Ensure your essay clearly addresses the prompt and fully develops your points. Your essay should have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between your ideas and connecting your paragraphs more cohesively. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the overall argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite