Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on completely different factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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The feelings of joy and fulfilment are usually attained upon achieving financial accomplishment.
While
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this
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indeed applies to some, there are people who feel content and correspondingly experience glee in varying aspects.
Although
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arguments may arise on different definitions of happiness,
this
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essay will argue that personal bliss is influenced by various factors beyond economic success. Economic success is something we strive for, not just for survival but to meet certain needs
as well as
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security. We cannot deny that money can diminish a number of problems which
subsequently
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prevent stress and even anxiety.
For instance
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, Heart Evangelista, a fashion icon, quotes that nothing beats a good night's sleep knowing you will be fine for the next ten years.
Therefore
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, having financial security builds a protection blanket allowing one to live carefree.
On the other hand
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, people may argue that money cannot buy contentment, especially in situations where money does not hold value like chronic illnesses or a broken family wherein a great example is children of divorcees.
Furthermore
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, studies show that victims of divorce often excel in later life and end up as successful professionals
due to
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fear of abandonment and though these victims attained the ultimate goal of the majority, they would be still willing to abandon the pedestal in exchange for a complete family to reach satisfaction.
In other words
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, both perspectives are valid, but the different views lie in the fact that the meaning of euphoria is subjective.
Consequently
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, a certain source of joy can be the opposite of another, like how a complete family may be someone's greatest wish but a child of domestic abuse may think
otherwise
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. At the same time, a successful entrepreneur may be forlorn
due to
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the regret of countless sacrifices made, meanwhile, a jobless adult may cheer upon receiving minimum wage.
Moreover
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, I certainly think that finding fulfilment should not rest on achievement but on the true understanding of self and own definition of contentment. To summarize, riches can evidently afford to solve problems leading to jubilation,
whereas
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, some unmet factors often result in feelings of gloom and emptiness.
However
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, I certainly think that as we explore what truly makes an individual happy, we will eventually find ourselves in circles for the reason that we do not know the meaning of happiness at all. Inversely, it will surely not be difficult to find glee in the simplest thing if it is correlated with a personal definition.

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using more cohesive devices. For example, transitions between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother.
task achievement
Consider providing even more specific examples or details to support your points, particularly in relation to how happiness can manifest in non-economic ways.
task achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded discussion of both views with a clear personal opinion, demonstrating strong task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The variety of vocabulary used in your essay is impressive, making your arguments engaging and articulate.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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