At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Nowadays, we are witness to the burst of the world’s

population

;

consequently

, the major

population

of many countries

is consisted

Change to the active voice

consists

has consisted

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of youngsters rather than elder ones. I reckon that the advantages of

this

happening will outweigh its disadvantages because of many reasons which I am going to elucidate two of them in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, it is beyond the shadow of

doubt

Add an article

a doubt

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that younger people are

better

Correct article usage

a better

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workforce than

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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older ones and can ameliorate the economic situation of their country. To incite proof, youngsters have more potency and eagerness for working in comparison with veteran employees those who think to be retired sooner;

on the other hand

, inasmuch as the world has progressed a lot in comparison with decades ago youngsters have more knowledge and

subsequently

more vantage points regarding disparate issues;

therefore

, they could be more influential and innovative as they will outpace their elder colleagues.

Besides

, having less old

population

is a boon for a country’s government in that there is no need to spend much budget on care facilities

such

as medical

centers

Change the spelling

centres

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or sanatoriums for taking care of the elder ones now that the more a person becomes old, the more the possibility of becoming sick or disabled will be.

For example

, as far as I know, Japan has a remarkable number of old people in Asia;

accordingly

, the Japanese government spends a lot of money annually for taking care of its old

population

. To sum up, regarding the increasing number of young

population

in a number of countries and its merits and drawbacks, I think that the advantages of

this

event can outweigh its disadvantages, mainly because of its economical consequences which I described two of them comprehensively in the above paragraphs.

Submitted by onerepublic73 on Fri Aug 26 2022

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You attended a meeting last week but you are not happy with the hotel which you stayed in. Write a letter to the organizer who hotel for you. In your letter, you should tell: (a) what the problems were (b) what you didn't like about the hotel (c) what do you want organizer to do.

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Developed countries should help poor nations . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In some countries, there are many social problems involving teenagers. This is because parents spend much of their time at work not at home. Do you agree or disagree?