IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Mobile phones have brought both benefits and drawbacks to phone users. Discuss both sides and state your opinion.

#phones #phone #users
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With the development of technology and now we have more types of phones and
incers
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incurs
pincers
enters
 the
people
Use synonyms
 who
use
Use synonyms
this
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 phones because the life is
doelopment
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development
 ,but with
this
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 improve we have some benefits and drawback and we will draw your attention about some
citzens
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citizens
dide
Correct your spelling
did
decide
 the reason is
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
the mobile
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
.
At
Change preposition
First
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first
Linking Words
 will talk about
Correct article usage
the
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advantages the
mobil
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mobile
Mobil
 phones do in
this
Linking Words
 day
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a lot
alot
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lot
 of
people
Use synonyms
 have a
phone
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 and account in any abs and we
use
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 the
phone
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 in all walks of life whereas we do our work with him and steady by
phone
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 and like when
wr
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we
 have heard mood in life or in the government you
cnd
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and
can
 study or work in the home
also
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 more easy and very fast ,so we have a good thing we should to preserved it
furthermore
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if you ask yourself what the
phone
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 do for us think about
this
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 points because if you don't have a
phone
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every thing
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everything
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 is very hard
say
Add the particle
to say
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 in your mind how is important for you.
Next
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, the
drawbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
drawback
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in
Change preposition
of
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 the
phone
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 our
use
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 of it some
people
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 have different goals
such
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 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sabotage by
use
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 in a bad thing and
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 hurtful things to make money ,but we should fight them ,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 there are some bad things like the
people
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 don't have a social together like when the family meet each other and don't say
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 just hold the
phone
Use synonyms
 and brose , so we should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
take care when we
use
Use synonyms
 the
phone
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. In conclusion, in my opinion, there are many things positives and negatives thing, but the problem
hoe
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how
show examples
 we are using the mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 when we
use
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 it in bad ways will be
a bad results
Correct the article-noun agreement
a bad result
bad results
show examples
 and when we
use
Use synonyms
 it in a good way will find
a great results
Correct the article-noun agreement
great results
a great result
show examples
 and will
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 many benefits.
Submitted by moathyaseen8862 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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