These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outways disadvantages in family developement.

#people #country #work #outways #developement

Nowadays, a number of citizens migrate from their home country to work abroad and often they take their wives, children, and parents with them.

This

essay will discuss both positives and negatives of

such

developments and will express my opinion in summary.

To begin

with, the primary advantage appears to be the support from their partner.

This

means

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a wife can support their husband not only emotionally but

also

financially.

For instance

, in the recent past, there was a survey that stated that migrants in Canada were way happier with their families than singles.

This

is a significant result in terms of the development of families.

Secondly

, their child can access a high standard of education.

This

will be an asset to them in the long run, they can

also

get job opportunities with a great deal of ease by having an abroad degree, which would beside contribute to family development in the future. Turing to negatives, the main drawback seems to be a work-life imbalance. Meaning that, when wives and children are staying with them in a foreign country, most individuals find it difficult to find a balance between work and family, causing a disturbance in families, resulting in divorce and eventually leading to a broken family. Another challenge can be the cost of living.

This

means starting life abroad can be expensive, particularly during the initial days, which causes psychological issues

such

as anxiety, depression, and insomnia

due to

unmanageable costs.

This

obviously can create family disturbances. In conclusion,

although

there are advantages

such

as support, and standard education for their kids, the challenges

outways

Correct your spelling

outweigh

show examples

those disadvantages, it can lead a nuclear or extended family to a broken family.

Submitted by denny.mathew66 on Sat Aug 27 2022

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay consistently ties back to the central question, focusing on whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. Provide a clearer stance in the introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Enhance your use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more fluently and logically throughout the essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a well-structured argument with clear points under advantages and disadvantages, which supports the task response.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the discussed points efficiently.

task achievement

You used examples effectively, such as referring to a survey about migrants in Canada, to illustrate your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Bilingualism
Cultural immersion
Economic opportunities
Familial bonds
Language acquisition
Multilingual
Professional growth
Social isolation
Social status
Standard of living

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These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outways disadvantages in family developement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to bring up children? What consequences could this way of parenting pose on children as they get older?

“What are the advantages of getting news online? What are the drawbacks

As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

The friends that children have are a very important part of their lives. What kinds of influence may children's friends have on them? What can parents do to ensure that their children's friends are a good influence on them?

Some student work while studying.This often results in lacking tome for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the cause of this? What solution can yoi suggest?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+