some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent eslewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Art is considered an essential part of all cultures
Correct your spelling
throughout
throughtout
the world. Correct your spelling
throughout
However
, these days fewer and fewer people
appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Some people
debate that Correct your spelling
government
Correct article usage
the governmet
governmet
spending the revenue Correct your spelling
government
for
arts is Change preposition
on
waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
money
. I completely disagree this
statement and Change preposition
with this
this
essay will explain why it is in my opinion.
The government provide funds and recognization for artists to motivate them but some people
get misunderstood it. First
of all, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
folk are normally Correct article usage
apply
not
following their passion for different reasons. some Add a missing verb
do not
people
just give up their dreams due to their distractions from the
society, some Correct article usage
apply
people
get away because of their financial requirement
. Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
Besides
, when they hear about the schemes or jobs enrolled by the government for the artists like painters, sculptors
.They Correct word choice
and sculptors
are
suddenly Unnecessary verb
apply
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
frutuating
without knowing the Correct your spelling
frustrating
artists
past. For Change noun form
artist's
instant
one of my Add an article
an instant
friend
used to paint well. He refused to go for higher studies becauseChange to a plural noun
friends
,
he wanted to follow his passion and become Remove the comma
apply
a
country's best painting artist. He went through a lot of struggles without getting any recognition from anyone. He almost worked eight years to attain Correct article usage
the
an
exposure. He started to post his drawings on Correct article usage
apply
the
online social Correct article usage
apply
medias
. He got a chance to perform in a government competition and he not only won but Correct your spelling
media
also
got a
prize Remove the article
apply
money
of one crore rupees as well. Finally
eight years of hard work paid off for him, Add a comma
,Finally
However
Add a comma
,However
people
who do not know about his struggles easily made a comments
Correct the article-noun agreement
a comment
comments
in
social Change preposition
on
medias
Correct your spelling
media
for
the prize Change preposition
about
money
.
To conclude this
topic, I utterly disagree that spending money
on the arts is not a waste of money
. People
should understand the Correct your spelling
importance
importants
of the arts and should not make Correct your spelling
importance
a comments
without knowing a full storyCorrect the article-noun agreement
comments
a comment
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite