some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent eslewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts #eslewhere

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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures

Correct your spelling

throughout

throughtout

Correct your spelling

throughout

the world.

However

Linking Words

, these days fewer and fewer

people

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appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Some

people

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debate that

Correct your spelling

government

Correct article usage

the governmet

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governmet

Correct your spelling

government

spending the revenue

for

Change preposition

show examples

arts is

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

money

Use synonyms

. I completely disagree

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

statement and

this

Linking Words

essay will explain why it is in my opinion. The government provide funds and recognization for artists to motivate them but some

people

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get misunderstood it.

First

Linking Words

of all, most

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

folk are normally

not

Add a missing verb

do not

show examples

following their passion for different reasons. some

people

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just give up their dreams due to their distractions from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, some

people

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get away because of their financial

requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

Besides

Linking Words

, when they hear about the schemes or jobs enrolled by the government for the artists like painters,

sculptors

Correct word choice

and sculptors

show examples

.They

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

suddenly

gets

Correct subject-verb agreement

get

show examples

frutuating

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frustrating

without knowing the

artists

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artist's

show examples

past. For

instant

Add an article

an instant

show examples

one of my

friend

Change to a plural noun

friends

show examples

used to paint well. He refused to go for higher studies because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

he wanted to follow his passion and become

Correct article usage

the

show examples

country's best painting artist. He went through a lot of struggles without getting any recognition from anyone. He almost worked eight years to attain

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apply

show examples

exposure. He started to post his drawings on

the

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apply

show examples

online social

medias

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media

show examples

. He got a chance to perform in a government competition and he not only won but

also

Linking Words

got

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apply

show examples

prize

money

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of one crore rupees as well.

Linking Words

Finally

Add a comma

,Finally

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eight years of hard work paid off for him,

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who do not know about his struggles easily made

a comments

Correct the article-noun agreement

a comment

comments

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

social

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

the prize

money

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. To conclude

this

Linking Words

topic, I utterly disagree that spending

money

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on the arts is not a waste of

money

Use synonyms

People

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should understand the

Correct your spelling

importance

importants

Correct your spelling

importance

of the arts and should not make

a comments

Correct the article-noun agreement

comments

a comment

show examples

without knowing a full story

Submitted by TAMIZH012 on Sun Aug 28 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

303 words

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some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent eslewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

you have bought some clothing onllne and are not s atisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email -> give details of the purchase -> describe the problem -> explain why you need a replacement urgently

1-Museums and art galleries should focus on works that show the history and culture of their own country rather than works of other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more people choose to do their shopping onlineinstead of going to physical stores. Why is this so? What are the disadvantages of this trend?