IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

#demand #oil #gas #areas #world #access #resources
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Oil
,
gas
 and
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
 fuels are very important in our lives. We could not live
Correct your spelling
without
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with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 them decades ago but now these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of fuel can be easily replaced by eco energy
such
solar
Change preposition
as solar
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 panels and windmills. Now demand
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
oil
 and
gas
 is increasing, and people believe that undiscovered places on the earth should be opened, so we can get access to more
resources
. I strongly disagree with
this
 view, and I think that people should find another type of fuel that will not harm the environment.
First
 and foremost,
such
 fuels cause pollution in
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 animals.
Also
 burning
oil
 and
gas
 can lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world warming. Today a lot of animals that lived in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 few decades now are acknowledged as extinct species. There were plenty of causes but the most famous was pollution of air and nature. Weather now is not as cold as it used to be and it is because of global warming.
This
 problem now can convert plenty of residents
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 homeless people. Icebergs are melting now, and the level of water in oceans and seas
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing.
This
 can drown some cities.
Moreover
, we have depleted a big amount of natural
resources
such
oil
Change preposition
as oil
show examples
 and
gas
. Nowadays we can not just open
another areas
Replace the adjective
another area
other areas
show examples
 to access more
resources
, because one day they will be depleted forever. Now we should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
find
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 main source of energy by using solar panels and windmills. To sum up, society should not open undiscovered areas to get access to more
resources
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 can cause pollution.
Also
, the community should find new ways to get energy.
Submitted by Mezun 2023 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
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