IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#smoker #places
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Nowadays smoking in public
places
Use synonyms
 has become a huge concern to the general public. some people say that smoking should be burned in public
places
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 has it
harm
Correct subject-verb agreement
harms
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 the
smoker
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 and the people who are nearby.
i
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I
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 strongly agree that it should be restricted in public
places
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.
this
Linking Words
 essay will
Correct your spelling
discuss
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 the reasons why smoking should be burned in public
places
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.
Firstly
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, smoking is hazardous to
human
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the human
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 body has it causes cardiovascular diseases
such
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 as heart diseases, cancer and stroke. so smoking in public
places
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 does not only affect the
smoker
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 alone. it
also
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put
Correct subject-verb agreement
puts
show examples
non-
Correct your spelling
non-smokers
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smokers
Change noun form
smokers'
smoker's
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 health in danger
for instance
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 in
europe
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Europe
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 passive smoking cause 1.2
millions
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million
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premature deaths per
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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 and these deaths are mostly caused by cancer and respiratory diseases.
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 it is believed that
by
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apply
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introducing smoke -
free
Correct article usage
a free
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environment
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 and smoke bans in public
places
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 will significantly
reduces
Change the verb form
reduce
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 the exposure of
non
Add a hyphen
non-smoker
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smoker
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 to toxic fume.
On the other hand
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, smoking
cigaratte
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cigarette
cigarettes
 in public areas is not good for the
environment
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 as it causes environmental pollution by releasing a toxic air
polutant
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pollutant
pollutants
 into the atmosphere.
for example
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 when
smoker
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throw
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throws
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 their cigarette butts on the ground. these butts are
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harmful
harmfull
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harmful
 to the
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environment
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 because they take so long to decompose.
therefore
Linking Words
 if
smoking
Add an article
the smoking
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 ban
is enforce
Change the verb form
is enforced
show examples
 in public
places
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 the littering of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
these butts will no longer be an issue and the
environment
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 will be
cleanier
Correct your spelling
cleaner
clearer
 for everyone. In conclusion, banning smoking in public areas will be
will be
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
effective
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 and
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
non-
smoker
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by doummanyuon1 on

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