Completing university education is the thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.
Getting a
university
degree
has been a hot topic in discussions lately. On one side, people
think that getting a college
degree
is important while
on the other side think that it is not necessary.
Some people
argue that completing a university
education is not necessary because experience and soft skills
are more crucial rather than getting a university
degree
. Therefore
, they think that getting on-hand
involvement in a real-world project is more important than sitting in front of the lecturer. Sometimes the knowledge that we got during our class is not applicable to the industry Correct word choice
hands-on
therefore
people
think it is useless. Additionally
, college
students usually lack soft skills
thus
some people
think that they should train their soft skills
instead
of having class each day.
In contrast
, other people
think that getting a university
degree
is an accelerated way for us to get a job with a better salary. By achieving a diploma, we can expedite our career path so we do not have to start from the bottom. Moreover
, some professions also
require a university
degree
before allowing us to get into the job industry. For example
, in order to be a doctor we have to follow a rigorous and prolonged university
education. This
is because being doctor
is a high-risk profession Add an article
a doctor
that is
related to patients' critical lives.
In conclusion, both sides of the discussion offer relevant reasons on
whether getting a Change preposition
for
college
diploma is important or not. In my opinion, completion
a Replace the word
completing
university
education is still important nowadays. We would never be able to get the basic knowledge of what we do if we only learned it by doing. Furthermore
, some colleges also
offer a mandatory internship in their program so that the students are not clueless about the industry. Students are also
able to develop their soft skills
in the student organizations that are available in most colleges. Therefore
, I think that getting a college
degree
is an important way for us to get a good job.Submitted by rianadmaja on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction clearly states both perspectives and sets up the discussion effectively. Your current introduction hints at both sides, but could be clearer in establishing the essay's structure.
logical structure
Expand on your transition sentences between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. For example, when moving from the argument against university education to the argument for it, make the transition smoother.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Elaborate on how soft skills can be equally or more valuable in certain industries or scenarios, and provide diverse examples beyond the field of medicine for the necessity of a degree.
complete response
You have provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is essential for a discussion essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your paragraphs are well-organized and present clear, comprehensive ideas. Each paragraph addresses a distinct point, which makes your arguments easy to follow.
supported main points
The use of specific examples, such as the necessity of a university degree for doctors, effectively supports your main points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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