Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

While

some people suggest the optimum way of public

health

execution is by

elevated

Change the article

an elevated

the elevated

show examples

number of

sports

facilities

, others

on the other hand

concur that the

sports

facilities

would have minute effectiveness on public

health

facilities

Firstly

, erecting

sports

facilities

brings the awareness of people being involved in daily exercising to keep fit and

avoiding

Wrong verb form

avoid

show examples

health

complications

such

as heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

and

also

creating a venue for

sports

competitions to be held.

However

, public

health

services and schemes provide a platform for the ill

health

concerns of the sick to be addressed.

Secondly

Add a comma

Secondly,

show examples

one remedy required to improve public

health

services is the provision of adequate human resources

such

health

Change preposition

as health

show examples

care professionals and specialists. With both academic and experiential knowledge these professionals have ,they would execute their duties excellently and go

every

Change preposition

to every

show examples

length to make sure their patients are relieved of any ailments.

Thirdly

, tools , equipment, reagents etc

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

major

measure

Fix the agreement mistake

measures

show examples

needed to execute public

health

service efficiently to satisfy the needs of patients who access

health

mcare

Correct your spelling

care

services.

These equipment

Change the determiner

This equipment

show examples

must be of good quality as well. The attire for every section of public

health

schemes should be provided

for example

laboratory

coat

Fix the agreement mistake

coats

show examples

, scrubs,

googles

Correct your spelling

goggles

show examples

, etc during surgery. Systems

such

as the drainage and sewage system, the power supply , water supply etc must definitely not be interrupted in

anyway

Replace the word

any way

show examples

. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

public

health

is essential by the provision of concrete resources which greatly affects people and the environment as a whole.

Submitted by abigailomari8p on Sun Aug 28 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

246 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many parts of world there is continuos coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss the view and give your own opinion.

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people think that we learn best through in person interaction with the teacher in a classroom. Others believe that learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice