Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While
some people suggest the optimum way of public
health
execution is by
elevated
Change the article
an elevated
the elevated
show examples
number of
sports
facilities
, others
on the other hand
concur that the
sports
facilities
would have minute effectiveness on public
health
facilities
.
Firstly
, erecting
sports
facilities
brings the awareness of people being involved in daily exercising to keep fit and
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
health
complications
such
as heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
and
also
creating a venue for
sports
competitions to be held.
However
, public
health
services and schemes provide a platform for the ill
health
concerns of the sick to be addressed.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
one remedy required to improve public
health
services is the provision of adequate human resources
such
health
Change preposition
as health
show examples
care professionals and specialists. With both academic and experiential knowledge these professionals have ,they would execute their duties excellently and go
every
Change preposition
to every
show examples
length to make sure their patients are relieved of any ailments.
Thirdly
, tools , equipment, reagents etc
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
major
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
needed to execute public
health
service efficiently to satisfy the needs of patients who access
health
mcare
Correct your spelling
care
services.
These equipment
Change the determiner
This equipment
show examples
must be of good quality as well. The attire for every section of public
health
schemes should be provided
for example
laboratory
coat
Fix the agreement mistake
coats
show examples
, scrubs,
googles
Correct your spelling
goggles
show examples
, etc during surgery. Systems
such
as the drainage and sewage system, the power supply , water supply etc must definitely not be interrupted in
anyway
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any way
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
public
health
is essential by the provision of concrete resources which greatly affects people and the environment as a whole.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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