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Band 4.5

Many person are opting for several career options as compared to a single career option to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #career #options #option #money
The given bar graphs illustrate the major reasons impelling
students
 to study in different
age
 groups and the number of assistants from their employers. Overall, it is clear that the percentage of the reason for studying for career declines as
age
 increases, whereas that of studying for interest rises as people
age
.
In addition
,
students
 in the
age
group
 around 30 to 39 receive the lowest amount of
support
 from employers. Looking
first
 at the bar graph of reasons for studying, a decline can be seen in the percentage of the reason for studying for a career, it falls from about 80 per
cent
 in the
age
group
that is
 under 26 to around 50 per
cent
 in the
last
age
group
, which is
students
 that are above 49 years old. As for the reason for studying for interest, the proportion increases from approximately 10 per
cent
 in the
first
group
 to 70 per
cent
 in the
last
group
. Moving onto the bar graph for the amount of employer
support
, the number of
support
 declined from around 65 per
cent
 in the
first
age
group
 to less than 35 in the
students
 aged around 30 to 39. While the percentage of the purpose for studying a career keeps dwindling as the
age
 level increases, the amount of
support
 grows, increasing to about 46 in the
last
group
.
Submitted by erichappykimo on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic necessity
  • gig economy
  • income diversification
  • personal fulfillment
  • technological advancements
  • digital platforms
  • work-life imbalance
  • stress and burnout
  • wage stagnation
  • rising cost of living
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