A lot of old people suffering from loneliness these days. They also lack physical fitness. What are the reasons for these? Can you think of possible solutions?

#people #loneliness #lack #fitness

The older sections of society have experienced more than the youngsters. It is considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a number of experts that if

olders

Correct your spelling

older

devote time and make compassionate bonds with others

as well as

do physically healthy activities

then

, they will have a better physical and mental well-being, yet, most of the old masses are victims of longlines and bad health.

This

essay intends to articulate reasons

as well as

solutions to

this

worrying notion before providing a logical conclusion The first and foremost cause of loneliness among veterans is the influence of technology on teenagers. To elaborate

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, these days almost everyone is addicted to their mobile phone especially individuals going through

teenage

Correct pronoun usage

their teenage

show examples

and they do not spend enough term with the patriarch

for instance

, in

part

Add a comma

part,

show examples

grandchildren used to listen to new stories at night from their grandparents but in the current

era

Add a comma

era,

show examples

they have found alternatives for story listening which are mobile phones. Another factor affecting the strength of older masses is a deficiency in a good diet.

Capitalize word

show examples

explain it, exercises like yoga,meditation and running are becoming much more popular among old people but

still

Add a comma

still,

show examples

they are neglecting the importance of a balanced diet.

Thus

, the old age group find it hard to have some quality stage with their family and to maintain fitness. Moving

further

, a possible cure for the loneliness of seniors can be book reading. To be more precise, utilising pace in a positive habit like book reading helps in eradicating negative emotions in the human brain.

For example

, it has been proven that loneliness is a mental state that can be tackled by participating in activities that make people feel fulfilled.

Therefore

, the eldest would not need to depend on others for emotional support. The solution for better fitness is having a simply balanced diet. To be more clear, Sticking to healthy food like fruits and vegetables can dramatically improve well-being.

Hence

, the effects of exercise

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

being polished To sum ,up

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

Although

there are some causes of

bad

Correct word choice

poor

show examples

fitness and feeling alone in senior citizens

yet

Rephrase

apply

show examples

, book reading and

healthier

Add a missing verb

being healthier

show examples

can be effective solutions for

the

Correct your spelling

these

show examples

issues.

Submitted by tanjirowill on Mon Aug 29 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed and clearly stated in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Improve the structure and clarity of the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

Expand the range of vocabulary used and demonstrate more precision in word choice.

grammatical range

Work on the accuracy and variety of sentence structures to improve grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

357 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in addition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's business world, employees put extra effort into developing their interpersonal skills. Some individuals argue that, in order to strive for a career, soft skills are vital in addition to standard education. In my opinion, I firmly agree emphasising social skills is paramount to accomplishing career goals. In this essay, I will elaborate on reasons to validate my stance followed by a conclusion.
6
band
It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.
It is recommended that children in primary school should be encouraged to learn how to plant vegetables and rear animals. The benefits of this involve learning and understanding the hard work it takes to do these activities, thereby promoting appreciation. Moreover, the process of learning such a skill could endanger a child's life as some animals can be unpredictable.
6
band
“Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?”
n this modern era, the usefulness of public libraries may be weakened by the wide availability of online resources. Hence, some may suggest that the government should spend less expenditure on advanced media and only provide books. In my belief, libraries still hold a firm stance in society.
5
band
Today the internet has replaced traditional books as a source of information. Discuss the Advantage & Disadvantage.
In the contemporary era, it is stated that digital methods has replaced books tremendously .I firmly opine the benefits of internet are higher than the downsides.
7.5
band
Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Parents throughout the world place spend time reading with their offspring to prepare them for school where their literacy skills are further developed; however, recent research suggests that focusing on reading at an early age can be detrimental, and participating in fun activities would be far more beneficial. I am a strong advocate of this approach, and the benefits of it will be covered in this essay.

A lot of old people suffering from loneliness these days. They also lack physical fitness. What are the reasons for these? Can you think of possible solutions?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in addition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

“Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?”

Today the internet has replaced traditional books as a source of information. Discuss the Advantage & Disadvantage.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.