Some people store personal and private information online, including banking, contacts and addresses. Is it a positive or negative trend?

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It is believed that with the rapid development ò
internet
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technology, some
people
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choose to
store
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personal and private
information
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online because
it
Add a verb
isit
wasit
show examples
convenient and user-friendly. In my opinion, I argue that
this
Linking Words
is
negative
Add an article
a negative
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trend because the password to entering the
account
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sometimes can be hacked. On the one hand, private and personal
infornmation
Correct your spelling
information
have an effect directly on inhabitant's life to accomplish their tasks without
dificulty
Correct your spelling
difficulty
.
People
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store
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information
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as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
banking, contacts and addresses.
For example
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, according to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
survey in Vietnam, young
people
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usually choose to
store
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their personal
information
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online.
This
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help
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helps
show examples
them
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not need to remember the password and log in
their
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to their
show examples
account
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at
a
Change the word
their
show examples
fingertip. It can be seen that
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store
Wrong verb form
storing
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data
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online bring undeniable benefit,
however
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,
this
Linking Words
create
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creates
show examples
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opportunities
opportunties
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opportunities
for
internet
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offence.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, with the development of
internet
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technology. Some
people
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take advantage when
people
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log in
their
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to their
show examples
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account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
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on
website
Add an article
the website
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or click
to
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on
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the link they sent in
message
Add an article
the message
a message
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they will
stole
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steal
show examples
banking
account
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and
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
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it for money and which leads
people
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to face
Correct your spelling
financial
finacial
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financial
problems.
For instance
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, hackers will get citizens who save banking
data
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
unsecurity
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insecurity
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website
wrbsite
Correct your spelling
websites
.
This
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actually happened to trang, my friend.
This
Linking Words
get
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gets
show examples
lost money when she
fill
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fills
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
personal
information
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in
strange
Correct article usage
a strange
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survey form. It can be seen that the
internet
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is damaging because of easy
data
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leakage which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
a lot of problems to
people
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who keep
information
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
it. In conclusion, storing personal and private
information
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online
bring
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brings
show examples
a lot of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
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,
however
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,
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
is a place dangerous for users to save
data
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by thaothanh1323 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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