IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions.

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İt is considered by some
people
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 that the number of crimes committed by young
people
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 in
mainly
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main
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cities throughout the world is increasing. I completely agree with
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
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 because the
crime
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 proportion
of
Change preposition
among
show examples
 young
people
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 displayed
an
Correct article usage
apply
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increase
Replace the word
increased
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 due to
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 together .
Governments
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Correct your spelling
struggle
sturglle
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struggle
 with these problems and they can handle
if
Correct pronoun usage
them if
show examples
 they will execute some solutions
such
Linking Words
 as
set
Wrong verb form
setting
show examples
 up
conversations
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 about
crime
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 or decrease the prices of beneficial activities
Firstly
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 ,
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everything
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
are
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is
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
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include
Wrong verb form
including
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 of internet
Correct your spelling
such
uch
Correct your spelling
such
 as phones , computers have been changing and developing
in
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on
show examples
 the earth .
Thus
Linking Words
 , the
use
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 of phones or
computers'
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computers
show examples
use
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 is becoming essential for us . But
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , undoubtedly , there are many bad
things
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of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 technology like the application that affect badly young
people
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 . Because there are many bad
things
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in
Change preposition
on
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and a young boy
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continuously
continuosly
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continuously
 sees new
things
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 while he uses
him
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his
show examples
 phone .
For instance
Linking Words
 , a young boy is seeing an accident while he is using
with
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apply
show examples
him
Change the pronoun
his
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 phone ,
seeing
Wrong verb form
sees
show examples
Correct article usage
a
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murder video or
seeing
Wrong verb form
sees
show examples
smoke
Replace the word
smoking
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 cigarettes and
thus
Linking Words
 , he is beginning to
use
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 bad
things
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 due to videos and afterwards , unfortunately,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
crime
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 commit rate display an increase . Another point to consider is that
governments
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 can
rescue
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 these
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. I mean , there are a few solutions for
rescue
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 from these problems .
Governments
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 can set up
conversations
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 in schools and bad
things
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 can tell in
conversations
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 or they can decline the price of beneficial
Correct your spelling
activities
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 like travelling or
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
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 a
sport
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sports
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 game .
Thus
Linking Words
 , many young
people
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 that committed
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Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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can
rescue
Use synonyms
 .
For instance
Linking Words
, the life of a child changed in
an
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way thanks to
him
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 teachers and conversation which has been . İn conclusion , unfortunately , the
crime
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 commit rate is still increasing and many young
people
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 have become
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
guilty . we can
rescue
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 from these problems if parents will prevent their
use
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of phone
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 or
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governments
Correct word choice
if governments
show examples
 will set up
conversations
Use synonyms
 about bad habits and guilties.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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