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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people think that if plenty of death system introduce in country the crimate rate get decrease. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #plenty #death #system #country #crimate #rate #decrease
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there is a heated debate about the implementation of
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
system
Use synonyms
, which offers various opinions over whether it would decrease the rate of crime, or not. I think that the
resistration
Correct your spelling
registration
 of capital legislation has both merits and demerits. but in my opinion, I agree that the establishment of law as I think it would result in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decreasingly
Replace the word
decreasing
show examples
 percentage of terrible vice.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
oppenents
Correct your spelling
opponents
 used to insist that
establishment
Correct article usage
the establishment
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
system
Use synonyms
 would result in the abuse of
Use synonyms
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 rights.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
this
Linking Words
system
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 would make a wistful
person
Use synonyms
 who is not
criminal
Correct article usage
a criminal
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
pull into
death
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
mournful
Add an article
a mournful
the mournful
show examples
 and kind
person
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 would be sacrificed without any regard.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the sorrowful
person
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 who had been
criminal
Correct article usage
a criminal
show examples
 but wanted to become
newborn
Correct article usage
a newborn
show examples
 would lose the chance that they can live kindly and be the power to improve social development.
In other words
Linking Words
, even if they
Correct your spelling
committed
commit
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
, they
Correct your spelling
should
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 have access
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 society and family. nobody
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whether they could be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 essential part of society.
However
Linking Words
, I think we
Correct your spelling
completely
compeletly
Correct your spelling
completely
 have to bring in
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
system
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
 would feel the
pressing
Replace the word
press
show examples
 to abide by the law
by
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
 the capital scheme. To be specific, they would feel terrified when they commit severe vice.
Secondly
Linking Words
, common people's
thought
Correct subject-verb agreement
thoughts
show examples
 about the importance of complying
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 law would be enhanced.
then
Linking Words
, the social environment would be peaceful and precluded without severe issues. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are demerits that
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
system
Use synonyms
introduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
introduces
show examples
 in countries, I opine that the implementation of
capital
Add an article
the capital
show examples
system
Use synonyms
 would affect the decreased rate of crime.
Submitted by parkcy0601 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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