IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people think that food companies should not be allowed to advertise, while others believe that all companies should have the right to advertise. What is your opinion?

#people #food #companies #right
The
food
 business is immensely popular among businessmen. While proponents hold the view of prohibiting publishing any kind of advertisements, opponents hold a diverse stance.
However
, I am of the belief that all kinds of advertisements have to be rechecked by the authorities. My contention will be
further
 explained. On one hand, doctors believe that any kind of fast
food
 advertising should not be allowed.
In other words
, junk-
food
 restaurants if they just work on unhealthy bread, will harm consumers which can cause many problems for youth. A prime example is KFC which started a new campaign for their new burger and added to the offer a kids' game.
Hence
, what can be said is that any kind of street advertisement has to be checked before allowing them.
On the other hand
, some citizens see that street restaurants can be useful if they will include healthy sandwiches on their menus.
In other words
, when a busy couple gets a short break they can find a nearby
food
 seller which can provide them with the healthy
food
 they need. A salient example is Karam and Noha car bread which started to sell
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free gluten bread
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and free lactose milk.
Therefore
,not only burgers can be sold on the street but
also
 healthy
food
. In conclusion, After
this
 essay has shown different views about advertisements, I am convinced that there are good places which have to be allowed to publish their services while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are many places that have to be banned.
Submitted by pavictoria06 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: