IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
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It is controversial whether social media have a detrimental impact on the youth and their formation of relationships personally or it makes
people
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 closer in the flourishing aspect, I think it harmed them in three aspects.
Firstly
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, social media have reduced the
time
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 young
people
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 used to hang out with their peers, according to statistics
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
for example
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, the youth used to spend more
time
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 outside their homes before 2007, while after 2007 with the opening of the Facebook platform
this
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time
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 has continuously reduced year after year and
this
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 resulted in increasing numbers of young
people
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 who adopt sedentary lifestyle nowadays.
Secondly
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,
people
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 become more reliant on what they read online about each other to make a complete figure of the personalities of their online mutual friends, but
this
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 is completely wrong as
people
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 tend to show the best sides of themselves online. it is very difficult to judge those
people
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 from their online pages,
people
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 should have many meetings with each other to realize all the hidden aspects of other
people
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's personalities.
thirdly
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,
people
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 started having online relationships that end up many times by meeting the wrong
people
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 who used fake photos and IDs to manipulate youth to fall on their webs. in conclusion, young
people
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 nowadays should have a kind of education from their parents and from school to have a balance between the
time
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 they spend online and the
time
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 they spend hanging out and meeting
people
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 in person to get the skills that would protect them from judging others wrongly from their online written stories and to teach them how to make sure
people
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 they have relationships with them online are the real
people
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 whom they think they are.
Submitted by walid.hgr7 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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