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Band 2.5

The best way to resolve the international environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cost #fuel
It is believed that fossil
fuel
 is the main reason that triggered the global environmental issue,
thus
 increasing the
price
 of fossil
fuel
 can be the solution. I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
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strongly
stongly
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strongly
 agree with that point of view. Global warming is one of the
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environmental
enviromental
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environmental
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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 that we face, which
caused
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is caused
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 by
high
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a high
the high
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level
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levels
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 of
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greenhouse
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green house
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greenhouse
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 gasses that are produced from fossil
fuel
 powered
vehicle
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vehicles
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. The lower
price
 of
fuel
 indirectly
contribute
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contributes
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 to the rise of global warming issue because
vehicle
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the vehicle
a vehicle
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 that
use
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uses
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fuel
produce
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produces
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 numerous
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greenhouse
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green house
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greenhouse
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 gasses. Take Indonesia as an example, the
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government
goverment
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government
fasilitate
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facilitate
 their people with
low
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low-price
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price
fuel
 that make most of their population use their own
vechicle
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vehicle
vehicles
, that
resulted
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results
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 as most of its
city
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cities
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 have the highest rank of air
pollutans
Correct your spelling
pollutants
. The rise
of
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in
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fuel
price
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prices
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 will help people to reduce the use of their private
vehicle
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vehicles
show examples
 and considering to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public transportation. Regarding the increased cost of
fuel
,
Add an article
a citizen
the citizen
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citizen
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citizens
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 will be more beneficial if they take public transportation. It can lead to
lower
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the lower
a lower
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 number of
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
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green house
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greenhouse
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 gasses produced
everyday
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every day
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 by private
vehicle
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vehicles
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, which can help to minimalize the happening of global warming. To conclude, the rise
of
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in
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fuel
price
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prices
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 can help to solve the global
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environmental
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 problem
such
 as global warming.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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