Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more than other people in important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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this

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contemporary era, many famous

sports

Use synonyms

personalities are earning a big amount of money. Some society members think it is fair

while

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others oppose

this

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statement. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both sides and will put forth my point of view.

Firstly

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, I think it is somehow reasonable that sportsmen should get paid a decent amount.

This

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is because they have worked hard enough to reach that stage, which involves years of hard work and dedication. Many society members ignore

this

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fact and rather start pointing fingers at

such

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superstars when they are at the peak of their careers, which is an immoral act.

For instance

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, Indian cricketers are often criticised by the general public because of the immense money they make, but no one would take

Correct article usage

the

show examples

initiative to go into the depth of their past hard work.

On the other hand

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, when I make a comparison with an equally compatible individual, who has done wonders in other sectors apart from

sports

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and is getting paid fairly low comparatively, I feel bad to some extent.

This

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is a discouraging factor for those community members and does not provide them with any motivation to do better.

Consequently

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, many these days are more interested in the field of

sports

Use synonyms

as compared to other skills and occupations;

thus

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leaving a huge gap in unemployment in the job market.

For example

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, many Indians prefer to play

sports

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and represent their country;

hence

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, other job roles remain unfilled. In conclusion, considering the above-mentioned statements, it is quite evident that

sports

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players do get paid much more than the general public, but governments should keep an eye on

this

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salary gap.

This

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can be done by providing decent salary packages to other people from different fields, which will

also

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act as an encouraging factor.

abhaygill003Tue Aug 30 2022

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task response

Your essay discusses both views and gives your opinion, which fulfills the task requirement. However, ensure that you fully address all aspects of the prompt to provide a comprehensive response.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are effective and capture the main points of your essay. To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure that your supporting points are well-linked and organized for a more cohesive structure.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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