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Band 5.5

Some people think that children's free time must include educational activities otherwise they will waste their time. What is your opinion?

#people #children #time #activities #waste
Younger
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The younger
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 generation
have
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has
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 many options to do
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their free
time
. It is suggested that
children
 should spend their break with informative activities that will enable them to learn something,
otherwise
,
time
 is wasted. In my view, a child should be given the freedom to choose what kind of play they want
to
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apply
show examples
in order to achieve maximum enjoyment and
also
, for them to develop skills and talents that they are interested
to
Change the preposition
in
show examples
. Like adults,
children
 need
to
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apply
show examples
a break from their routine. The most common way of relaxation for them is playing.
For instance
, during
weekend
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the weekend
show examples
, a lot of students are given free hours, to do whatever they want. By doing so,
children
 are being more obedient to comply with school activities during weekdays knowing that they will have their freedom after
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 days.
Second
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The second
A second
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 reason why adults should not focus on giving
children
 educational tasks alone is to allow the
children
 to find out their own talents and skills that they want to gain. It is important to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
develop
Change the form of the verb
developing
show examples
 talents and skills at a young age. Most of the
time
of
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apply
show examples
these traits are inborn and will automatically manifest in a child's actions. An example of
this
 is dancing. Some people are born graceful, it will be evident
on
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in
show examples
 the way they stand, walk
Correct your spelling
or
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of
Correct your spelling
or
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 even carry things.
This
 talent, which can be very useful in the future, can
be polish
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be polished
show examples
 if an opportunity will be given.
Instead
 of forcing someone to memorize all the flags of the world, spending
time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 dance classes will be beneficial. In conclusion, It is evident that giving liberty to the younger population to choose the activity to spend their
time
 with is beneficial for
self improvement
Add a hyphen
self-improvement
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 and future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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, rather than forcing academic activities.
Submitted by September on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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