IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that media have the right to publish details of people's private lives, while others think it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

#people #media #right #lives
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İ
t
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is consider
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is considered
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 by some
people
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 that
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the
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media
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 have the right to publish details of
people
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's private
lives
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, while others think it should be controlled. I completely agree with the opinions and in my opinion ,
Correct article usage
the
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media
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doesn
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'
t
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display
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care
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the care
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 that
need
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needs
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to
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for
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 society's private
lives
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 and
therefore
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 ,
governments
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 or
managers
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 should be controlled for the private
life
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 of a community .
Firstly
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 , the
media
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 experienced
a
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apply
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development and it still continues to develop
and
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apply
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thus
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 , the
care
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 of
media
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 takes place in our
lives
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 in an obvious
way
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 . Many
people
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 which are famous or ordinary struggle with
media
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 because ,the
media
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 generally publishes details of
people
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's private
lives
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 and
also
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 , it gives lies knows about their
life
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 for talk among other
people
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 .
For instance
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 ,
a
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in a
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 magazine new speaker prepares conversations about somebody and
this
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 conversation took place with lies
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that
tthat
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that
written
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are written
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 . Afterwards , everybody who watched
this
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 programme or read
this
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 write learnt lies know or details know about somebody's
life
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 . Another point to consider is that
governments
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 should
display
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care
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for that
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 needs of their community . Because society affects badly due to
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media's
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media
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doesn
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'
t
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display
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care
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 about private
life
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 .
Therefore
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 ,
governments
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 or
managers
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 should set up rules
such
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 as private
life
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doesn
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'
t
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 publish in a
detail
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detailed
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way
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 .
Thus
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 , peoples which live trouble
about
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with
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this
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 problem can rescue thanks to these rules .
For instance
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 ,
governments
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 can give punish if
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media
Correct article usage
the media
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 will
publis
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publish
 the
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private
prive
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private
life
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 of
people
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 in a
detail
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detailed
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way
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 or they set up seminars
for
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to
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 tell problems to
media
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managers
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 or
media
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 speakers . İn conclusion ,
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media
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the media
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doesn
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'
t
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display
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care
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 which
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needed
needs
need
needd
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needed
 and afterwards , many
people
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are famous or ordinary live
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in troubles
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troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
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. İn my opinion ,
governments
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 can execute a few solutions .
Governments
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 can set up seminars to tell problems to
media
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managers
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 or
media
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 speakers or they can give punish if the
media
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 will publish the private
life
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 of
people
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 in a detailed
way
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 and
thus
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 , every
people
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 can rescue from these troubles.
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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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