Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern era,
guardian
Fix the agreement mistake
guardians
show examples
always
worry
Change the verb form
worries
show examples
about their
juveniles
Change noun form
juvenile's
juveniles'
show examples
future
. There are two different opinions
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
, the
first
group
of people believe that
children
should be promoted by their parents to participate in organised
group
activities in their
liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time.
However
, other
group
Change the wording
groups
show examples
of individuals argue that it is mandatory for young ones to learn how to become self
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both opinions and in the
last
share my point of view. On one hand, younger has to take part in organised
group
activities because
such
types of tasks help
children
to learn teamwork.
This
will help them in their studies. There are several companies nowadays, which required employees who can
work
in a team. So, if
children
learn
this
thing from their childhoods it will
Correct your spelling
definitely
definietely
Correct your spelling
definitely
help them in their
future
.
In addition
, tasks in
team
Correct article usage
a team
show examples
teach many things to
children
like how to deal with other
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, communication skills and etc. As an example, several schools in Canada, recently added new
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
in their curriculums in they give
Add an article
the task
a task
show examples
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
to their students to
work
in
Add an article
a group
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
which are made by their teachers.
By
Change preposition
Through
show examples
this
, academics try to communicate with
unknown
Add an article
an unknown
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
and can improve their communication skills.
On the other hand
,
children
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to learn how to utilise themselves on their own because there are some benefits of
this
too.
Firstly
, if
children
become dependent
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
to do any kind of
task
they may face difficulties in their
future
. As an example, If a juvenile needs to make
science
Correct article usage
a science
show examples
assignment by himself because it is
individual
Add an article
an individual
show examples
task
and he always takes help from his friends for
this
type
task
Change preposition
of task
show examples
.
Then
, he can not do his
work
properly. In conclusion, I believe that
children
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to take part in
group
activities compared to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
their
work
by themselves which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them to become self-dependent. The main reason behind
this
is by teamwork they can improve their communication skills which help them in their
future
.
Submitted by patelutsav139 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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