IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The use of mobile phone in public places is an antisocial as smoking . Smoking is banned in certain places , so mobile phones should be banned in same way . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#phone #places #phones
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Using a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 in public
places
Use synonyms
 sometimes annoys
people
Use synonyms
 around, and it is regarded as a bad manner.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 want to prohibit it in the same way as smoking. In my opinion, talking on a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 in public
places
Use synonyms
 should be banned.
However
Linking Words
, browsing the internet or texting has become so essential to our lives that almost nobody wants to restrict it. Talking on a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 should not be allowed in public
places
Use synonyms
 because it is loud enough to make
people
Use synonyms
 around unhappy. There are some
people
Use synonyms
 who take a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 and start talking on a train. Since trains make a loud sound when they move,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to use a loud voice unconsciously. As a train is a closed box, the voice reflects on the wall.
Thus
Linking Words
, it makes
people
Use synonyms
 around annoyed.
Therefore
Linking Words
, speaking on a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 should be banned in public
places
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 has become so important that we cannot restrict all the activities on a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
, even in public
places
Use synonyms
. When I ride a train and look around, almost everyone uses their mobile phones. They usually do not talk on the
phone
Use synonyms
 but browse the internet, text or read a book silently. Everyone seems to enjoy staying in
this
Linking Words
 public place.
Hence
Linking Words
, all the activities on a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 cannot be restricted anymore. For the reasons I discussed, talking on a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 should be banned because it annoys
people
Use synonyms
 around.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, we rely on mobile phones much, and I suppose everyone understands to use a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 except for talking.
Submitted by rekkoba on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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