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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some countries allow old people to work at any age that they want. Do the advantage outweight the disadvantage ?

#countries #people #work #age #advantage #outweight
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The retired working force is the real gem for any country
therefore
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 some countries didn't set up upper age limit for retirement. I believe demerits outweigh merit.My subsequent crumb of writing will elucidate my viewpoints with relevant examples. To start with, in today's fast-moving world, the organisation has more expectation from the
workforce
Use synonyms
 to achieve common goals where uninterrupted work, high focus and concentration is required.To achieve all these,young energetic blood is required and an old experienced
workforce
Use synonyms
 can't handle
such
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 pressurized situations.
Also
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 in
such
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 a competitive environment,
employees
Use synonyms
 should be familiar with the new technologies and learn them quickly whenever required,
moreover
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,after a certain age people lose the tendency to learn and grasp new things, due to which the
aged
Replace the word
ageing
show examples
workforce
Use synonyms
 remains behind all time.
For example
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, in my organisation, a group of aged
employees
Use synonyms
 were handling the legacy system and when it replaces legacy systems with the latest technology it was hard for them to learn and work. There are certain areas where old
employees
Use synonyms
 have the upper hand over the young energetic
workforce
Use synonyms
.In some industries, experience played a crucial role like handling account books, and managing the volatile
workforce
Use synonyms
 in the garment industries.With their experience and immense
knowledge
Add a comma
,knowledge
show examples
 they can teach new
employees
Use synonyms
 so that they turn them productive quickly in a short span of time. To conclude, in my opinion, in certain areas aged
workforce
Use synonyms
 played a crucial role where they are sharing their experience with others to achieve common goals quickly,
however
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,
such
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 experiences faded out if work is replaced with a new workflow or with new technologies.
Submitted by abt.dhruv on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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