When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their time in.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Planning a new township adds new and multi-horizon in revenue generation and brings new opportunities to business. I completely agree that public
parks
and sports
facilities
should be given priority over shopping centres.My subsequent crumb of writing will elucidate my viewpoints with relevant examples. To start with, during the development phase, public
parks
and sports
facilities
should be in the centre and everything should be planned around
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.With
this
approach, the
city
will be able to normalise the pollution and it will encourage future
residents
to utilise any
facilities
which will be within walking distance,
moreover
, every park should be connected with adjacent
parks
by
cycling
Correct article usage
a cycling
show examples
lane as
this
will create a good network of cycling lanes within the
city
range,
moreover
, it will encourage
residents
to use cycles.
Parks
should be densely populated with trees so that the surrounding area
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
cool all time.
For example
, I got
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to visit
recently
Add an article
the recently
a recently
show examples
developed
city
where everything was connected with
parks
and
residents
prefer to walk to buy essential items from the supermarket which was situated between the two
parks
.
Furthermore
,
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
centre should we plan in
such
a manner which
discourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
discourages
show examples
workers or employees to use their own vehicles.
For example
, Google
Headquarter
Fix the agreement mistake
Headquarters
show examples
is located
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
200
acre
Change to a plural noun
acres
show examples
of
area
Add an article
the area
show examples
but each facility is far away from
each
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
other but connected with a lane,encouraging employees to
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
bicycles.
Moreover
, open gym
facilities
should be provided so that the resident can exercise
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free of cost. To conclude, in my opinion,
parks
and sports facility is more beneficial than shopping centres where
residents
can maintain health, remain energetic and free from Lifestyle diseases.
Submitted by abt.dhruv on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban planning
  • recreational areas
  • green spaces
  • cityscape
  • well-being
  • pedestrian-friendly
  • ecosystem
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • consumer culture
  • retail therapy
  • land use
  • zoning regulations
  • ecological footprint
  • sustainable development
  • infrastructure
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