IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Why are some people who leave school early more successful compared with those who complete their studies. Provide reasons why they are more successful and what are the requirements for success?

#people #school #studies #requirements #success
Many
people
 believe that it is essential to complete a school education to be successful.
However
, some high school dropouts are more successful than those who finish their education.
This
 essay analyses some reasons for their achievements and the requirements to be high achievers.
First
 of all, early school-leavers must be passionate and talented to be successful. If they spend their time idly, they will not achieve anything.
For instance
, Mark Zuckerberg left college because he had developed a new social media platform and wanted to start his own company. As he was a skilled programmer, and he was determined to develop his organisation, he became a billionaire businessman. Another option for dropouts is earning a living by working. They may work as shop assistants, waiters or waitresses. While earning money, they may learn about economics and invest their money well, which leads to more income in the future.
Furthermore
, they might climb up the job ladder by working hard and doing part-time degrees.
Thus
, by having a stable source of income and saving money spent on college and school, these
people
 can achieve success. We can identify the essential ingredients for success by analysing these paths and stories. Many successful
people
 are hardworking, motivated and skilful.
Although
 Elon Musk faced many rejections and adversities during his younger years, he did not give up and worked hard to become the owner of several profitable companies.
Therefore
 these qualities are essential for anyone to fulfil their dreams. To conclude, some early school-leavers become successful because they are talented and dedicated
people
, and anyone who has these qualities can live a good life.
Submitted by ineshp2020 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: