IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

All nations on the planet have a responsibility to lessen the greenhouse gases that they emit. Although this can be very difficult for developing countries, they also need to make significant reductions. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There has been a controversy about whether all nations should be responsible for lessening the greenhouse gases that they emit. I agree with
this
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 statement, and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First,
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climate
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change
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 brings about famine worldwide. It's expected that on account of
climate
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change
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, the distribution of global water resources will
change
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 dramatically.
For instance
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, global warming worsens water shortage in countless areas; the desert area will be expanded, and these sands will continue infringing upon agricultural lands. Without water to nourish local agriculture; the risk of droughts will increase, and many
live stocks
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livestock
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 will die as well.
As a result
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,
such
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 a situation can lead to a food shortage around the globe.
Second,
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losing habitats. It's commonplace that
due to
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climate
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change
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, the weather has become more severe and unpredictable than it used to be.
For example
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, the monsoon season in Bangladesh is prolonged. It rains more frequently, and the amount of precipitation
is ascended
Verb problem
has increased
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 as well.
As a consequence
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,
such
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 a
change
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 adds
the
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to the
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 risk of flood in local areas;
therefore
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, hundreds and thousands of people have lost their homes
due to
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 the elongated monsoon season.
Third,
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causing animal extinction. As we know, global warming has a negative impact on all aspects,
such
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 as causing droughts and ascending sea levels.
Such
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 changes don't only affect humans, they are detrimental to animals as well; innumerable animals have lost their living habitats already because of
climate
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change
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. It's worth mentioning that if one animal leaves his living habit, his surroundings will be impacted to a large extent because the food chain is formed strictly;
hence
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, the absence of one animal can cause other animals to go extinct too. In conclusion, I believe it's all countries' responsibility to lessen greenhouse gases.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. While you include instances related to climate change's effects, adding statistics or more detailed case studies could strengthen your points further.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. You might want to use more transitional phrases or sentences that link your ideas together, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
positive
Your introduction is clear and outlines your stance effectively, which is a great start for the essay.
positive
The structure of your essay is logical, with distinct paragraphs for each main point, displaying a good understanding of the task structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • greenhouse gases
  • developing countries
  • sustainable development
  • carbon footprint
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • green technologies
  • financial aid
  • technology transfer
  • capacity-building programs
  • collective responsibility
  • vested interest
  • moral obligation
  • renewable energy sources
  • environmental sustainability
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