IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many students find it difficult to pay attention at school. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem?

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Their
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There
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 is no
deny
Change the form of the verb
denying
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 that nowadays youngsters find
Correct pronoun usage
it difficulty
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difficulty
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difficult
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 to pay
attention
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 in their
schools
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 due to several reasons .
Their
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There
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 are
myraid
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myriad
 reasons and many ways
too
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to solve
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slove
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solve
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this
Linking Words
problem
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also
Linking Words
 . In
this
Linking Words
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contemporary
contemperory
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contemporary
 era , childer are facing
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a lot
alot
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a lot
 of problems in their school due to which they are not paying
attention
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towards
Change preposition
to
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 their
studies
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 and extra activities. To commence ,with
firstly
Linking Words
 most of the
students
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 face
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 with the staff of the school some times the teachers put to much burden on the
students
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 that children get
pressureised
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pressurised
 and
then
Linking Words
 not able to pay
attention
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 .
Secondly
Linking Words
students
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 most of
time
Add an article
the time
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gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 disturbed by the environment of the
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school and
schooland
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school and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 able to concentrate on their
studies
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 .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , the facilities provided by the education system are not up to
dated
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date
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 due to with my
students
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face
Wrong verb form
facing
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the problem
a problem
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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and
then
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 they do pay
to
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too
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 much
attention
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 in
class
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 and find
thier
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their
class
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 boring . Probing ahead , there
are
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is
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 various
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 for
this
Linking Words
problem
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to
Change preposition
apply
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through which a student can
focous
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focus
 in
their
Replace the word
there
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and pay
attention
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 in the
class
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also
Linking Words
 . The staff member of the
schools
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 should be polite and friendly with the
students
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 the behind is that the student gets
comfertable
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comfortable
 with
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
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 and ask them for their doubts in
studies
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 .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 the facilities in the
schools
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 should be advanced and attractive so that a student could pay
attention
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 in
class
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 and start developing an interest in
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their
thier
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their
studies
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 or in other activities .The environment in the school should be
peacefull
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peaceful
 and clean so that the
students
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 could pay
attention
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toward
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the teacher teaching in
class
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 . To
recaptitulate
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
, it can be said that the education systems should look upon the problems of
students
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 which they are facing and due to which they are not able to pay
attention
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 in the
schools
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 .

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • distractions
  • technology
  • boredom
  • tiredness
  • engagement
  • learning disabilities
  • teaching techniques
  • classroom size
  • family issues
  • health problems
  • motivational strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: