Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

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There is ongoing

interest

Use synonyms

in students’

career

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choices. Many argue that college students should choose a course based on their interests,

whereas

Linking Words

others believe they must choose disciplines with more prospects. I will analyse both perspectives and delineate my opinion, supported with relevant examples. On one hand, an essential reason young individuals must apply to the university courses they desire is that doing so fosters success. By

this

Linking Words

, I mean when the choice is a field of genuine

interest

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, commendable success is more often than not attained. They are often equipped with the motivation, commitment, determination and passion required to succeed.

For example

Linking Words

, a study conducted in Nigeria found that three-quarters of students with excellent academic merit reported that their chosen disciplines were areas of unwavering

interest

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, which contributed immensely to their breakthrough.

As a result

Linking Words

, they enjoyed better employment opportunities after graduation.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

imperative to consider the highly competitive job market

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and choose disciplines with better employment opportunities and

career

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prospects. To buttress

this

Linking Words

, subjects like sciences, technology, engineering, mathematics, etc., are currently leading in the labour market. Studying them in college prepares individuals to take up future highly paid jobs that require graduates with specialised skills in the above-mentioned areas.

For instance

Linking Words

, research conducted in America supported

this

Linking Words

view. Silver Valley, a region characterised by young entrepreneurs and technological advancement, revealed that most of the population studied sciences and technology at university. It was a traditional pathway to a favourable

career

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. In conclusion, I believe the young population ought to choose a college discipline based on personal

interest

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, as

this

Linking Words

contributes to academic excellence and subsequent excellent employment.

However

Linking Words

, if they do not have any preconceived area of

interest

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, it is

also

Linking Words

acceptable to encourage them

select

Verb problem

to select

show examples

subjects with prospective

career

Use synonyms

advancement

successucbest

Jun 28, 2026

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task response

Write about the same topic all through the essay. Your essay talks about college course choice, but the task is about children making daily choices.

task response

Discuss both views more directly: one side says too much choice can make children think only about themselves; the other says choice helps children learn to decide.

task response

Give your own opinion on the real topic in a clear way from the start and keep it clear to the end.

task response

Use examples that fit the task better. Try to give simple real-life examples about food, clothes, or free time.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear paragraph plan: intro, two body parts, and conclusion. This is good.

coherence and cohesion

Some linking words are used well, like 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each main idea links back to the question. Good flow is not enough if the ideas are for a different topic.

coherence and cohesion

Keep topic words the same across the essay. You move from 'children making daily choices' to 'students choosing college courses', so the whole piece loses unity.

coherence and cohesion

You use a clear essay shape with opening and ending parts.

coherence and cohesion

Your ideas inside each paragraph are easy to follow.

task response

You give reasons and examples for your points.

task response

Your opinion is clear in the conclusion.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Autonomy
Consequence-awareness
Self-centered
Informal decision-making education
Child development
Age-appropriate choices
Cognitive growth
Fostering independence
Parental guidance
Societal norms
Interpersonal consideration
Balance of freedom
Individualism versus collectivism
Experience-based learning

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