Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

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There is ongoing
interest
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in students’
career
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choices. Many argue that college students should choose a course based on their interests,
whereas
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others believe they must choose disciplines with more prospects. I will analyse both perspectives and delineate my opinion, supported with relevant examples. On one hand, an essential reason young individuals must apply to the university courses they desire is that doing so fosters success. By
this
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, I mean when the choice is a field of genuine
interest
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, commendable success is more often than not attained. They are often equipped with the motivation, commitment, determination and passion required to succeed.
For example
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, a study conducted in Nigeria found that three-quarters of students with excellent academic merit reported that their chosen disciplines were areas of unwavering
interest
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, which contributed immensely to their breakthrough.
As a result
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, they enjoyed better employment opportunities after graduation.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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imperative to consider the highly competitive job market
,
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apply
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and choose disciplines with better employment opportunities and
career
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prospects. To buttress
this
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, subjects like sciences, technology, engineering, mathematics, etc., are currently leading in the labour market. Studying them in college prepares individuals to take up future highly paid jobs that require graduates with specialised skills in the above-mentioned areas.
For instance
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, research conducted in America supported
this
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view. Silver Valley, a region characterised by young entrepreneurs and technological advancement, revealed that most of the population studied sciences and technology at university. It was a traditional pathway to a favourable
career
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. In conclusion, I believe the young population ought to choose a college discipline based on personal
interest
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, as
this
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contributes to academic excellence and subsequent excellent employment.
However
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, if they do not have any preconceived area of
interest
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, it is
also
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acceptable to encourage them
select
Verb problem
to select
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subjects with prospective
career
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advancement

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task response
Write about the same topic all through the essay. Your essay talks about college course choice, but the task is about children making daily choices.
task response
Discuss both views more directly: one side says too much choice can make children think only about themselves; the other says choice helps children learn to decide.
task response
Give your own opinion on the real topic in a clear way from the start and keep it clear to the end.
task response
Use examples that fit the task better. Try to give simple real-life examples about food, clothes, or free time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan: intro, two body parts, and conclusion. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used well, like 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each main idea links back to the question. Good flow is not enough if the ideas are for a different topic.
coherence and cohesion
Keep topic words the same across the essay. You move from 'children making daily choices' to 'students choosing college courses', so the whole piece loses unity.
coherence and cohesion
You use a clear essay shape with opening and ending parts.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas inside each paragraph are easy to follow.
task response
You give reasons and examples for your points.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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