IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advantages made in agruculture,many people around the world still go hungry.Why id thid the case? what can be done about this problem?

Since the
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beginning
begining
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beginning
 of the world
agriculture
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 has been playing a significant role in providing food around the globe despite the advancement in
this
Linking Words
 particular sector ,still, people suffering from
the
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apply
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hunger at the international level and it seems that it will
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occur
occuer
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occur
 in the future in high percentages.
To begin
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 with
causes
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the causes
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 of
this
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 scenario ,
inspate
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in spite
in spate
 of how much the world
have
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has
show examples
 moved from traditional techniques to well-developed modern ways in many areas , there are too
much
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many
show examples
 people have lack
of
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apply
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basic food. One of the main
reason
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reasons
show examples
 behind
this
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 is the attitude of a huge number of counties.
For
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example
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,example
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 ıf we have a look at these countries’
priorty
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priority
 aim we could clearly see that
industirialization
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industrialization
industrialisation
 is more important than
agriculture
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 so that much money is being used for the innovations of industry
not
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,not
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agriculture
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 .Because of
this
Linking Words
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situation
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situation
situaiton
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,situaiton
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 most of the
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vegetables
vegatables
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vegetables
 could be produced in
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strict
strickt
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strict
 areas as the production still
depend
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depends
show examples
 on the weather or climate.
As a result
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 of
this
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 preference existing foods are limited and not
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available
avaible
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available
for
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to
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 everyone in the world.
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Secondly
Secondary
Secondaly
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Secondly
,
undevelop
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undeveloped
 countries have not reached the logical knowledge of farming yet. They are not able to prevent their farmland from the destruction
of
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by
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the
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apply
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insects or drought.
Actullay
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Actually
 there are some movements in order to escape from them but without technology or improvements which could be provided
from
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with
show examples
 the help of other
develop
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developed
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 countries. According to
the a
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the
a
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 research ,after holding
seminers
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seminars
 and training
farmes
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farmers
farms
frames
 and the other people who work in
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agriculture
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the agriculture
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 sector by
a
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an
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 international organization company , great improvements recorded.Organizations
such
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 as WHO should hold companies like the mentioned one for reforming their perspective
of
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on
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agriculture
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. In conclusion ,it is essential to produce
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solutions
solituons
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solutions
 in order to
obstruck
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obstruct
 the food problem which occurs
in
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apply
show examples
all over and every
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country
coountry
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country
 and organization should carry the ball.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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