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Band 4.5

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patient do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly.

#doctors #people #exercise #patient
The doctors
Suggest
Fix capitalization
suggest
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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over- aged citizens do
The doctors Suggest that over- aged citizens do
Remove the redundancy
apply
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exercise
 daily but some patient have not
follow
Change the verb form
followed
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exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
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routine
Add an article
the routine
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.
This
 essay
Intends
Fix capitalization
intends
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 to discuss the benefits as well as causes of
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
.
Firstly
,
Change preposition
at the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 young age
people
 do
exercise
 in
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
show examples
 routine because they know that health is wealth. If you do physical jerks you, do not need doctors. Beautiful keep your
keep your
Remove the redundancy
apply
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body fit and fine and it
also
improve
Change the verb form
improves
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 your mental skills, more attention
on
Change preposition
to
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 work and
then
 would feel
laziness
Replace the word
lazy
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
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whole
Add an article
a whole
the whole
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 day. The main thing is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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older
people
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 more
exercise
 because the diet plan
are
Change the verb form
is
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 not well
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
 age, so most probably
chance
Add an article
the chance
show examples
 of heart attack and liver disease and liver diseases. They should make a timetable and must follow it.
on the other hand
, many humans do not follow the daily routine due to
busy
Add a missing verb
being busy
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 in their
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
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. workout is very important in our
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
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. many
people
 know that
exercise
 is good for fitness.
although
 they cannot have sufficient time for
morning
Add an article
a morning
the morning
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 walk and they are trapping of health problems
such
 as they do not
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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proper growth of body and mental problems.
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a survey found that only 40% of
people
 do
exercise
 and have fit and
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
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 persons are suffered from many diseases. our government should encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings by organising special events
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every weekend in every city. Yoga
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 best
exercise
 for our health.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
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,
people
 are less active and they need to motivate to do
exercise
. as causes of
workout
Correct article usage
a workout
show examples
.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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