IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team - summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts - say how you think the company should spend some mone

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise #mone
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing with regard to my opinion about your decision that you decided to spend
money
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 as a sponsor for our
children
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's sports team or to pay the
money
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 for holding a concert in the open air. In our neighbourhood,we never had a sponsor to support our
children
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 who lived in
this
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 area.So,with your offer
children
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 can play together in their leisure time.
Moreover
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,
this
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 idea can help
children
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 who are suffering from health problems. I have been living in the area,since I was young,and have never seen a concert,so you cannot imagine how much
this
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 will affect our spirits to improve our mental health.
Therefore
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,not only, you can earn
money
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 from the concert, but
also
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 you can extend your business on other aspects of the job.
However
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, I would prefer to donate to a sports team owing to prevent wasting
money
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.I believe,
this
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 choice is the best way for
children
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 who are willing to do physical activities. I appreciate it if you could consider my suggestion, Yours faithfully, Mohammad
Submitted by maralkarimi48 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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